hardparade: (one direction; louis (drunk))
[personal profile] hardparade
I think it's high time for a Random Text Generator post! It's been AGES. For new friends who don't know what I'm talking about, there's this thing that sort of mashes up the sentences from various recent posts you've made and turns them into...well, gibberish, for the most part, but also HILARITY. They're usually best when they take bits from fic, but because none of my recent fic has been posted here the generator can't use it, which is sad. Still, these are pretty entertaining.

But then there's just this moment of like quiet panic, and Niall leaving a restaurant
giggling helplessly

Liam is like LISTEN TO ME I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITYYY.

People are beginning to doze off on his knees backstage.

by the way Harry's the only one who's drowning now
Oh good, well, as long as it's only Harry...

at the neckline of Louis's arse in his knees
SOMEBODY TOOK LOUIS APART AND PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER WRONG

i still think we might wake up the remote.


I'M BRITISH AND I LOVE YOU.

"Hey, so," he says, and his tongue pressing right up against the wall.
Well this adds another meaning to wall!sex.

A couple of moments later that Louis does this with Harry because that's the safest place to frantically neaten up their hair and chewing the skin of his face
...chewing? D:

:| Insomnia is a mere inconvenience. What. What?
This is brilliant tbh.

There, Louis will sing with a gentle sort of hoarse chuckle, and turns round to the wild noisy mess of the line is such a long time coming.
I just like this one.

Alison's hands are down by Harry's hips
Seven words and I'm flustered, tbh. Let's just take a moment to imagine Alison Mosshart/Harry Styles.

to think that could be the one difference between them like he's proud of him—and then he looks like they're not doing this without several metres of space and a dildo one time But just one time! It was just inevitable.
Omg the end of this.

Louis reaches up to cup Louis's face, thumb against cheekbone, and their mindless conversation that made it clear that it was Emma Watson and Natalie Portman are hot, and actually having a mancrush on Harry, so Harry doesn't give him that feels weirdly sort of anxiety that he and Liam takes a moment before remembering how to make him uncomfortable, and they seem like the boys a little cocky after he's been so dependent on each other as they press and slide against one another, sharp teeth slicing through clothing, nails becoming claws
I don't know what's going on here at ALL.

Actually, I bet Noel and pot makes it okay.
This Noel is Noel Fielding, so I think this sentence is probably pretty accurate tbh. Whatever 'it' is.

Harry's knees go weak, and he can't pick. LOUIS HOW GAY ARE YOU. HOW. GAY.

Alex is hard in about five seconds flat, and has to hurt him, he's just nervous, making sure Louis really wants this as much as possible.
Oh my god. (This Alex is Alex Day, btw, who basically admitted to being a bit of a One Direction fanboy, soooooo.)

death cab for cutie; brothers on a sofa cushion.
Brothers on a Futon. Brothers on a Sun Lounger. Brothers in a Tent.

"I just want to snog his face in Louis's shoulder because he's pretty adorbs and there's something with Harry because that's just the two of them squirm around under the bright lights. Only they didn't. Not tonight. "
Idk I kinda like this one.

they're having to keep things under wraps for their sake; he has no control over his face.
This is basically just...true, for Harry/Louis?

Alison frowns, looking back on Hogwarts days.
KILLS HARRY POTTER AU.

oh Jesus that is kind of shiny secret weapons but let's go with no.
I'm in love with this sentence and I want to start using 'shiny secret weapons' as a synonym for 'awesome.'

Louis is like "er, yeah." And I'm gonna suck you off? That's a thing," he whispers this time. "Yeah?" comes Louis's voice wavers and the lampshade hats and the cold weather. And immediately he regrets it, because he can't remember how to explain.
The lampshade hats.

He does accept a mug full of people

Harry kisses Louis on the kink meme, only it got a little bit too intense when he looks at Harry, and then I suppose he might try and get Charlie to do that in the arse.
Omg get out of here Charlie McDonnell you are too innocent for this. (...She says, like she hasn't written porn about him...twice.)

he shudders and splashes over his clenched fist and his pants are suddenly in a fanvid, and it's all fine
Okay, I'm in hysterics.

Charlie flushes and drops his gaze, unzipping Alex's jeans with a screenshot of my med withdrawal though SO THAT'S CONVENIENT.
A SCREENSHOT OF MY MED WITHDRAWAL. Otherwise known as: my entire journal for the past two months.

Mostly, it seems like Liam's little smiley look at pictures from way back, it's like—he was just innocently discussing fanmix ideas with astreindre and I felt like my heart was breaking, and NOW THE CUDDLING VIDEO, and.
Omg Liam/astreindre OTP. Although I actually seem like I'm pretty torn up about this...

"Hmm?" he says, a little dark spot on the heat of his notebook, and sucking on the sofa.

Louis being clingy and coupley and cuddly in a strange way, and fidgeting incessantly with Alex's own come
OH MY GOD

This causes Harry to cackle and then he's springing back like he's cross about something. Generally, he is behaving weirdly.

A/N: Technically, this is real
Hahaha it's like an anti-disclaimer. Which I like, because we could probably use that on a fair few Harry/Louis fics, lbr

For a moment Charlie is in fits of laughter at something Louis says, and his pants down, but pajama trousers give them something to stare at.
Stop it with the Youtubers/1D, generator.

At 0:48 Harry goes "kiss me you fool!" and Louis interrupts "but you'd better wait until you've met my family
Hahahaha oh my god.

so AWKWARD and awkward people are watching, seeing just how skilfully Louis can work Harry into a pool of love and arousal

Inspired by that one time that Harry mysteriously flipped out because people wanted to have someone to have to come up with Rihanna
I'm not even sure what this is supposed to mean but can we just take a moment to imagine Harry/Rihanna because like, it was talked about and everything, but no one mentioned HOW HOT THAT WOULD BE

animals in a relationship might be weird

A/N: WELP everything I've written for these two so far has been in a friendly way?
HAHAHA LIES

I don't like conspiracy theories
LIES

Wtf, I don't want to write bottom!Louis
ALSO LIES

this photo of them clambering all over each other, nothing else matters.
...truth

way too wrong to be like this. They shouldn't be like this. They shouldn't be like this. They shouldn't be so obsessed with making Harry seem straight
omg this is so ~intense

Because I'm kiiiind of overwhelmed by all the groping.
...I don't even know if this is an actual sentence that I typed at some point. It probably is. I KEEP HAVING THIS PROBLEM.

I know there's always some awesome discussion in the morning, and then eventually Louis is spanking him.
That's how all awesome discussions end, imo.

Also Harry is touching Zayn's face, dude, these guys regularly grab each other's boyfriend
Basically true?

all these middle-aged men with their limbs all tangled
...All right.

Can we go to a bar afterwards and I think I've been in a zoo anyway, Louis says

I mean, watch the whole band having sex with the ladies, and Louis holed up in her, that devil on her knees for her.

I'm not sure if he was having sex with the amount of friends requests I'm getting

Harry is making me do strange things
Accurate.

Okay wow what. This started out as just a comfort thing and they're both clearly enjoying themselves far too much. IDIOTS. IDIOT BOYS.

She's bold, she takes what she wants; she would have pets and get really bad secondhand embarrassment from it
Pets are so embarrassing, man.

Harry kisses Louis on the wall to remind us that Harry likes girls whenever something happens with him and how real that relationship was, but, considering that's the general consensus, why is louis tomlinson bitchface
wat

I'm so completely absurd.
...That seems like a good one to finish with.

GOOD TIMES. Favourites, anyone? Crackfic ideas? I love this so much, I should do it more often. I'm gonna use my silly generator tags for old times' sake and add a few more, because did you know you can have FOUR THOUSAND TAGS with a paid account?? I do not use this feature enough at all.

Date: 2012-06-15 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astreindre.livejournal.com
OH MY GOD ME/LIAM OTP WHAT IN THE

Okay now I'm going to go back and keep reading but I got to that part and basically died oh my god XDDDDDD

Date: 2012-06-15 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I was like !!! when that showed up because if I remember correctly, it was you who encouraged me to do another of these posts since getting into 1D? And you said you always loved them? AND NOW YOU'RE IN ONE. ♥ Apparently discussing fanmix ideas with Liam Payne and then being filmed cuddling with him...and breaking my heart. :((

Date: 2012-06-15 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astreindre.livejournal.com
You do remember correctly! I ADORE this, I literally could not stop giggling the whole time. My door's wide open and everything, I think my roommate is going to kill me. He has company over too, so basically a complete stranger heard me break down into a gigglefit over this post and I don't even care because these make me SO HAPPY. Give me a second and I'll quote all the ones I love. I mean, clearly me/Liam is my favourite (I kind of want that fic, tbh, where we fall in love over fanmix-making and cuddling. And then break your heart, whoops? As well as Zayn's, probably. Maybe I don't want this fic...)

Date: 2012-06-15 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astreindre.livejournal.com
Liam is like LISTEN TO ME I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITYYY.
So Liam's life, basically.

I'M BRITISH AND I LOVE YOU.
I'M AMERICAN AND I LOVE YOU TOO.

:| Insomnia is a mere inconvenience. What. What?
Truth.

Harry's knees go weak, and he can't pick. LOUIS HOW GAY ARE YOU. HOW. GAY.
I ask myself that question aaaaaaall the time, Harry, it's okay.

And basically Alex Day/Louis needs to be a thing now. You know you want to write it. You know you dooooooo. Eventually it could turn into Alex/Louis/Charlie! Best threesome ever y/y?

At 0:48 Harry goes "kiss me you fool!" and Louis interrupts "but you'd better wait until you've met my family
I just laughed so hard at this, oh god.

UGH I MISSED THESE NEVER STOP DOING THEM

Date: 2012-06-15 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
That Liam one was so spot-on. AS WAS THE INSOMNIA ONE.

Alex/Louis/Charlie/Harry?? WE CAN'T LEAVE CHARLIE OUT, NAT. THAT WOULD BE CRUEL. Hahaha oh man imagine Charlie McDonnell in a gay foursome, he would want to crawl into a hole and die from the embarrassment. Especially with Louis there. Oh man I'm cracking myself up just picturing it.

I WILL TRY TO DO THESE MORE OFTEN ♥

Date: 2012-06-15 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astreindre.livejournal.com
I was just thinking to myself, like, can you imagine a couple LESS likely to get on than Louis and Charlie? Charlie would die of embarrassment and Louis would just be so annoyed at him for taking the fun out of everything. But I think if Alex were involved too things would be okay. Louis could focus his humiliation on Alex because Alex can take it and leave all the sweet stuff for Charlie. And then if you add Harry in... Well he and Charlie would probably get along better than Charlie and Louis but probably not by much. Charlie would probably just hate all of them, except for Liam and Zayn. Charlie/Liam/Zayn? Oooooh. That could be interesting.

Date: 2012-06-15 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mannerspolice.livejournal.com
"Liam is like LISTEN TO ME I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITYYY."
Welcome to Liam's life the poor kid.

God I kept doing Harry laughs where he guffaws and then claps his hands over his mouth this is HILARIOUS.

Also this thing really wants Louis to sleep with Alex Day which like... hmmmmmm...

"I don't like conspiracy theories." Best one.

Date: 2012-06-15 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I LOVE THAT ONE. TRUE TO LIFE.

OMG SO DID I. I love that my moodtheme pic for 'giggly' is basically that exact thing, because it's so accurate.

It does, doesn't it?? I bet they would get on really well actually...

I love when it just says things that are totally out of character for me. I think once it was like "I get really pissed off when people talk to me about threesomes" hahahaha nope.

Date: 2012-06-15 12:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-crazy-freak.livejournal.com
Oh my god, this whole thing is so hilarious! I am literally in tears from laughing so hard! xDDD

At 0:48 Harry goes "kiss me you fool!" and Louis interrupts "but you'd better wait until you've met my family

This is like the best thing ever, I'm dying, LMAO!! xDD

Date: 2012-06-15 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
:D Yay! It cracked me up so hard while I was compiling it, srsly.

I LOVE THAT ONE. Clearly NOT something Louis would say...

Date: 2012-06-15 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badjujuboo.livejournal.com
best. thing. ever. You should hold a comment fest and EVERYONE GETS A RANDOM THINGY TO WRITE FROM! or three to choose from

Date: 2012-06-15 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Omg that would be kind of awesome actually. Like people write a drabble based on one of the random sentences/extracts? That could be HILARIOUS. But also possibly really difficult.

Date: 2012-06-15 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badjujuboo.livejournal.com
DOOOOOOOOO IT
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT
*pushy pusher who pushes and prods prods you*
ImageImage

SEE even the boys agree

Date: 2012-06-15 12:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] popfly.livejournal.com
I love this idea.

Date: 2012-06-15 05:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alice-pike.livejournal.com
Yes that is brilliant.

Date: 2012-06-15 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I might do it with the next one but I think I'd let people choose ones to write from? I don't know if I want to force specific ones on people in case they're really hard, haha. Idk I'm gonna think about it.

Date: 2012-06-15 12:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fuluoliang.livejournal.com
HAHAHAHA ! Oh my god, I laughed out loud so many times. Some of them are just too good.
Also, Harry/Rihanna hnnnng... There would definitely be some pegging going on... (You're welcome for this lovely mental image. ;))

Date: 2012-06-15 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
HELP

OH MY GOD

THAT MENTAL IMAGE IS GOING TO KILL ME FROM HOW HOT IT IS

Date: 2012-06-15 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slothy-girl.livejournal.com
i loved ALL of them lol- but especially the ones that actually made some semblance of sense lol- like the one AN that says its all technically true and idk- the weirder ones were hysterical! lol

Date: 2012-06-15 11:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Lol I'm glad you liked them!! :)

Date: 2012-06-15 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jasmine-rosalee.livejournal.com
AHAHA THESE ARE HILARIOUS! Here are my favourites:

he shudders and splashes over his clenched fist and his pants are suddenly in a fanvid, and it's all fine

>> THIS IS ACTUALLY GOLDEN.

Charlie flushes and drops his gaze, unzipping Alex's jeans with a screenshot of my med withdrawal though SO THAT'S CONVENIENT.

>> lololol, sreenshot of your med withdrawal o rly?

A/N: Technically, this is real

>> I look forward to you using this at some point in the future.

At 0:48 Harry goes "kiss me you fool!" and Louis interrupts "but you'd better wait until you've met my family

>> ahaha this makes me want meeting the parents!fic

But basically they're all rather amusing :P

Date: 2012-06-15 11:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Yay, I'm glad you liked them! Your favourites are good ones, haha. I like the idea of one day being able to use "technically this is real" as an A/N on a piece of fic, I'm not gonna lie.

Awwww meeting the parents!fic that would be SO CUTE. I want this too.

Date: 2012-06-15 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leira17.livejournal.com
Liam is like LISTEN TO ME I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITYYY.

He does accept a mug full of people

Louis being clingy and coupley and cuddly in a strange way, and fidgeting incessantly with Alex's own come

This causes Harry to cackle and then he's springing back like he's cross about something. Generally, he is behaving weirdly.

animals in a relationship might be weird

Harry is making me do strange things

Okay so those are definitely my favourite. The first one is so goddamn magnificent because I imagine that at some point Liam has indeed wailed that to the rest of the boys, and it's still making me giggle because wow hilarious mental image okay. Louis/AlexDay should be a Thing actually. The fourth one could be turned into a good fic, not even a crack one tbh! Like, stage!shenanigans type of fic. Annnnnd the last one is just so very accurate to my LIFE that I had to include it.

Date: 2012-06-15 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Good choices, haha! I can definitely imagine Liam wailing that at the others, lol, and Louis/Alex Day should definitely exist. I think [livejournal.com profile] astreindre is considering prompting it at the kink meme because I've just got way too many ideas to focus on at the moment. You're right about the fourth one actually, I wasn't even sure if that was a legit sentence I'd typed because I figure that's actually happened at some point!

Date: 2012-06-15 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alice-pike.livejournal.com
THE DILDO WAS INEVITABLE. Also the one right after that one is...strangely alluring??? Idek.

BROTHERS ON A SOFA CUSHION. BROTHERS EVERYWHERE.

I love the cracky ones, but lately I'm loving even more the one that could almost be ~real. Surprise!generator feels for everyone. Like the intensely-making-Harry-straight one. Yes, it's funny and I Iol'd at first, but it's also like, 'oh wait, take the crack out of that and it could totally be depressing.'

ALL IN ALL THOUGH, THIS ARE ALWAYS A GOOD TIME.

Date: 2012-06-15 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
INEVITABLE DILDOS. I know what you mean, it confused me but it was sort of pretty at the same time.

Hahahaha.

Yeah, that's true. :( And people basically ARE trying to make Harry seem straight, so...

I'm glad you enjoy them! I should really do them more often but it always takes quite a while to come up with a batch that's not just like, total nonsense. XD

Date: 2012-06-16 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amisophe.livejournal.com
...this is FUCKING HILARIOUS and that's really the only way to deal with it, I think

except that somehow a lot of these seem like really good fic prompts, so. I SECOND THE SUGGESTION TO USE THEM AS SUCH :D?

Date: 2012-06-16 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I think I might end up doing that the next time I post a batch! Just encourage people to write drabbles maybe, or give them a choice of three quotes to pick from if they want. It could be fun.

Date: 2012-06-16 02:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tearpath.livejournal.com
Despite having your fics somewhere else, these were awesome :D

Liam is like LISTEN TO ME I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITYYY.
I read this on Liam's voice and it made me chuckle. Yes sweetheart, yes you do.

all these middle-aged men with their limbs all tangled
this was my favourite :D:D I'm really having a hard time not to imagine this.

I'm not sure if he was having sex with the amount of friends requests I'm getting
i just pictured a boy having sex with letters of fangirls WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

He does accept a mug full of people
this one actually reminded me of the One direction cartoon I've just finished. Small people and gayness and crossdressing and pain!kink and pussycats and all. I don't know if you've seen this, it's here:


Wtf, I don't want to write bottom!Louis
As if the generator was trying to tell you not to. Evil creature. Give us aaaaaaalll the porn ;)

and now I'm scrolling back to have a good laugh again! thanks for that :D

Date: 2012-06-16 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Yay, I'm glad you enjoyed them! :) No problem.

I love The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction!! It took me a long time to get round to watching it because even though everyone said it was hilarious, I didn't think I'd find it funny. But it really cracked me up! It's so well done.

And I REALLY need to write some more bottom!Louis, omg.

Date: 2012-06-17 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prunesquallormd.livejournal.com
I never fail to get a laugh out of these.

I particularly liked:-
'Alison frowns, looking back on Hogwarts days.
KILLS HARRY POTTER AU.'
Not gonna lie, that would be kind of awesome :)

'shiny secret weapons' as a synonym for awesome :)

'Louis being clingy and coupley and cuddly in a strange way, and fidgeting incessantly with Alex's own come'
LOL ew!

and
'I'm so completely absurd.
...That seems like a good one to finish with.'
Awww, we love you :)

<333

(4000 tags? How could anyone actually need that many? Clearly I don't tag enough!)

Date: 2012-06-17 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I tried to figure out which house they'd each be in and couldn't, so I got kind of stuck right away. XD

I'm glad you liked these! ♥

(I KNOW RIGHT? I guess it's for communities that need lots of organisation but wow 4000 is a LOT.)
(deleted comment)

Date: 2012-06-17 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I started thinking about it and got stuck right away because I couldn't figure out which house either of them would be in. :(

HERE HAVE ANOTHER KILLS-RELATED ONE THAT I DIDN'T INCLUDE:

Noel replies, "We have some fun for once? Loosen up, Alison, fuck. No wonder you haven't had a boyfriend in so long. She looks at them, somewhat blankly. "How many groupies do you want?" Noel asks gently

It seems to be Noel offering groupies to Alison. Um.
(deleted comment)
(deleted comment)
(deleted comment)
(deleted comment)

Date: 2012-06-18 11:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
HAHAHA I'm so glad you had this reaction, because it was basically the same as mine, but I didn't want to be like LOOK HOW HOT THIS IS in case you just found it amusing. But, right?? That was the first one that came up when I started putting a batch together and I was like HOW IS THIS REAL. HOW DID IT COME UP WITH THIS AMAZING IDEA.

I'm so glad you're writing it, seriously. Yessss to some of the groupies being girls and Noel letting Alison pick, and maybe kind of walking her through it at first a little bit, and Alison feeling safer with him there because he knows what he's doing and she's so nervous. Nervously-sexual!Alison is the best and I'm totally up for discussing this idea further with you if you need me!!

Date: 2012-06-18 02:10 am (UTC)
ext_585618: (Default)
From: [identity profile] elipie.livejournal.com
At 0:48 Harry goes "kiss me you fool!" and Louis interrupts "but you'd better wait until you've met my family and Harry kisses Louis on the wall to remind us that Harry likes girls whenever something happens with him and how real that relationship was, but, considering that's the general consensus, why is louis tomlinson bitchface are my favorites, omg. What even.

Date: 2012-06-18 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
YES those are great. The second one is cracking me up and confusing me at the same time, HARRY WHY ARE YOU KISSING LOUIS TO REMIND US YOU LIKE GIRLS

Date: 2012-06-18 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tallestman.livejournal.com
Louis reaches up to cup Louis's face, thumb against cheekbone, and their mindless conversation that made it clear that it was Emma Watson and Natalie Portman are hot, and actually having a mancrush on Harry, so Harry doesn't give him that feels weirdly sort of anxiety that he and Liam takes a moment before remembering how to make him uncomfortable, and they seem like the boys a little cocky after he's been so dependent on each other as they press and slide against one another, sharp teeth slicing through clothing, nails becoming claws

Translation:
Louis absentmindedly stroked his stubble, nodding and agreeing when necessary as Harry described, in depth, just how fit Emma Watson is. Oh wait, now he's switched to Natalie Portman? Louis really isn't paying attention. He's just watching the way Harry's lips move and how his eyes are all excited and how his hands look like they're tracing an outline of Louis' bum because really: he's more curvaceous than either of those twigs. He began to thinkThis would be so much easier if I was a girl - before another voice loudly interrupted NO! Stop. That ways leads to darkness. But man, can we take a moment to contemplate Harry's

"Lou? Lou. Louis!"

Louis shook his head. "Sorry Haz, spaced out a bit. What were you saying?" Liam, (who Louis suddenly realized was sitting on the other side of Harry. Man, he had really lost touch with the world for a minute there!) gave him a knowing look. Louis knew Liam wouldn't spill the secret, but he seriously regretted the drunken decision to seek advice about his Hazza situation. But how could he have known Liam would be such a dick about it? Wasn't he supposed to be the nice one?

Harry continued talking, still angled towards Louis from before Liam sat down, and an evil grin spread over Liam's face. Louis had to control the urge to start glaring as Liam turned his attention to the back of Harry's head, clawing at the air and making a silent *rawr* like the classic cliche flirt. Unsatisfied with the lack of reaction, Liam moved in closer. He took on a come-hither look and began repeatedly biting the air in Harry's direction. Louis rolled his eyes, but luckily Harry had just made an awful pun about walruses so it went unnoticed.

Liam made eye contact with Louis right behind Harry, sensuously dragged a finger across him bottom lip and tried his damnedest to look as sexy as possible. Which... was... um... pretty fucking sexy if Louis was perfectly honest. The teasing had a different tone to it this time, one Louis barely picked up on. He felt a surge of blood go to his cheeks as Liam slowly winked at him and repositioned himself so he was completely facing the other two boys with his legs tucked underneath him on the couch. He began to give Harry a shoulder massage, and the youngest boy paused in his story about "That one time when" to give a quick "Cheers, mate" before forging onward. Louis was trying so hard to listen to what Harry was saying, but all hope was lost as Liam leaned forward, his outstretched tongue millimeters from Harry's ear. Louis watched with shallow breath as Liam glacially traced the shell of the ear, never breaking eye contact with the older boy.

"TEA!" Louis all but screamed, making the other two jump. (Louis thought Liam might have bit his tongue. Serves the bastard right. "I'm going to make tea. Anyone else want some?" Harry and Liam muttered their agreement as Louis hurried into the kitchen. As he put the kettle on, he heard Liam's voice from the other room.

"Haz, didn't you say you were out of toothpaste? You should run pick it up. That store on the corner closes soon."

"Oh, right! Man, what would I do without you."

"Have rotten teeth." Liam retorted as Harry slipped on his shoes.

"Right. I'll be expecting tea when I get back, Tomlinson!" he called as he headed out. A moment after the door closed, Liam was in the kitchen. Louis tried his best to be filled with rage as he rounded on Liam, but a smirk pulled at his mouth.

"You insufferable - " was as far as he got before Liam pounced.
Edited Date: 2012-06-18 04:02 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-18 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tallestman.livejournal.com
So, huh. I think I just wrote my first drabble. Yay, baby writer! :P It felt good. No, it felt shiny secret weapons!

Laughed heartily at the lampshade hats and "Because I'm kiiiind of overwhelmed by all the groping."

Wtf, I don't want to write bottom!Louis
I've discovered that the only thing I like more than bottom!Louis is slutty!Liam. Oh wait, just realized that thing I just wrote had both. Maybe I should keep writing it. Hmmmm...
Edited Date: 2012-06-18 04:06 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-18 11:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
NICE hahaha I love how you managed to actually make that bizarre paragraph into something that actually made sense!! And I lol'd at but luckily Harry had just made an awful pun about walruses so it went unnoticed.

SHINY SECRET WEAPONS INDEED

Date: 2012-08-16 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seths-dream.livejournal.com
Okay so I found your LJ through a link on tumblr, and I'm so glad because not only have I been reading AMAZINGLY hot fic, but this post. I am crying from laughter. I had to keep coughing to cover up the weird sound of strangled laughter.
I think my favorites are:

way too wrong to be like this. They shouldn't be like this. They shouldn't be like this. They shouldn't be so obsessed with making Harry seem straight

At 0:48 Harry goes "kiss me you fool!" and Louis interrupts "but you'd better wait until you've met my family

he shudders and splashes over his clenched fist and his pants are suddenly in a fanvid, and it's all fine

Though I pretty much lost it at this point:
A/N: Technically, this is real

Profile

hardparade: (Default)
hardparade

May 2014

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
111213 14151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 25th, 2017 07:52 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios