hardparade: (dreamers; matthew)
Hoooooooomg, fucking Boardwalk Empire, man. I don't even know if anyone on my flist watches it but I think I need a moment to get these feelings out.

Spoilers for 2x11: Under God's Power She Flourishes. )

In conclusion, Jimmy/Gillian should probably not be my OTP on this show, but it so is.

I'm gonna go back to working on that Remus/Sirius mix now, even though it keeps making me like, burst into tears at spontaneous moments.
hardparade: (treadaways; brothers of the head)
Time for a porn picspam, of the retro gay variety.

By the way, for your convenience, my porn posts are now tagged in a more organised way (it was rapidly becoming necessary!). Posts like this can be found under ! [porn] retro picspams, and there are also tags for ! [porn] misc picspams and ! [porn] bdsm picspams, as well as ! [porn] videos. If you can't see anything when you click that last link, that means you're not on the filter, but all you have to do is ask and I'll add you straight onto it. :)



when you got me in your palm, slidin' in your hand. NSFW. )

It is always SO HARD to find a mood that isn't bb!Georgie or bb!Skandar when I make these posts, omg. Even Will and Anna feel inappropriate. I might need to change my moodtheme...
hardparade: (celeb; kate)
I HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK. I decided to attempt the drabble meme to see if it could kick me back into action, and it may have worked. I cheated though—I listened to each song a couple of times and totally edited them a little bit after. But shh! The important thing is that I wrote something, right??

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays.
You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble
You start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.

I chose The Kills for my fandom, which basically means Alison Mosshart and Jamie Hince and everyone who is tangentially connected to them. There's actually a lot less Alison/Jamie here than you might expect, and that's because this was a really good opportunity to experiment with all kinds of other combinations.


Title: Drabble Meme #3
Author: likecharity
Pairing: Alison Mosshart/Jamie Hince, Alison Mosshart/Noel Fielding, Alison Mosshart/Jack White, Alison Mosshart/Kate Moss, Kate Moss/Noel Fielding/Russell Brand, Alison Mosshart/Kate Moss/Noel Fielding, everyone/everyone.
Rating: It varies, but let's go with NC-17 to be safe.
Warnings: Real person het and femslash, and hints of slash. A few have mentions of violence and rough sex, and a couple are slightly cracky, but I think that's it.
A/N: Well, er...these seemed less weird at the time.

You are probably aware that I'm not very good at drabbles. )
hardparade: (celeb; anton)
Time for some amusement from the LJ Markov Random Text Generator! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.

And then Morgan goes to her, and nobody ever told him he shouldn't speak for the doorhandle.

"No, I—" Reid protests. "Don't get rid of his neck.
:/

Charlie Bartlett begins around the room to Nathan Harris's apartment, ready to make his fingers almost instantly.
Two Anton Yelchins? I approve.

Simon: Well, let's not name him. Russell: Who will remain anonymous. He could have been an octopus.
THE RETURN OF THE OCTOPUS.

"With all due respect, sir," Garcia interrupts him , you weirdo."
Omg, spluttering with laughter right now.

The two of them are so wonderfully fucked up (unlike Shane)
HA in what universe does that bit in brackets make any sense.

His living room slowly takes shape around him in surprise. )

In other news, I started watching American Horror Story, which was the WORST DECISION. I can't stand horror or gore of basically any kind, and have to watch the whole thing through my fingers, but I'm totally hooked. I only started watching because adorable psychos with mommy issues are kind of my kryptonite. (I knooow Tate is a monster but I AM SO FASCINATED BY HIM.) I also started rereading the Harry Potter books, which was obviously the best decision – I can't believe it took me so long to get around to it. I reread The Shoebox Project first, so then when I got to Prisoner of Azkaban I was like, STUPIDLY emotional. I basically feel like I've been punched in the gut with reminders of all my Remus/Sirius feelings, and auuuuuugh, OTP forever and ever and ever. ;_; I kind of want to post a fanmix because I've had a Remus/Sirius playlist for YEARS and never actually done anything with it.
hardparade: (misc; les chansons d'amour)
The retro gay porn is back! I totally forgot about it for a while there, I'm sorry. There's still quite a lot more to come, so I should probably try to remember and do more regular picspams. If people are still interested, of course. (I always say that, and then people are like "well, duh." XD)

I need to get organised with my porn posts in general, actually, don't I? It's been a while since I shared some videos. As always, if you want to get in on that, let me know and I'll add you to the filter. In the meantime, pictures of men having sex in the '70s! And possibly the '60s and '80s. I've lost track now for the most part. Sex, though! That's the important thing.



sweet baby, i need fresh blood. NSFW. )
hardparade: (weeds; nancy)
Sooo, this is the end of my Weeds season 7 meta. It took me a while to get it written and posted for some reason.

As usual, the focus is on the Botwins and their feelings about each other, making these posts less like recaps and more like...well, me rambling about things I enjoy. Which I guess is what I use my entire journal for, come to think of it.


Season 7, episodes 10 to 13. )
hardparade: (kills; hair grab)
Holy crap, I finished this.


Title: not falling together
Author: likecharity
Pairing: Alison Mosshart/Jamie Hince, and Alison Mosshart/various (Jack White, Noel Fielding, Brian Molko, and sort Kate Moss) plus mentions of Jamie Hince/some of those same people.
Rating: Hard R
Warnings: Real people. Violence (occasionally during sex and including a bit of breathplay), drug use, and slightly excessive infidelity.
Summary: It used to be just the two of them in this tiny room, and now they're letting others in. It feels like they're coming apart at the seams, and Alison doesn't know how to fix it.
A/N: This basically deals with speculated changes/struggles in Alison and Jamie's relationship brought about by Kate and The Dead Weather. The timeline spans from September 2009 to December 2011, so not surprisingly, it is LONG. Thank you to the people who encouraged me—you know who you are. ♥ (2/2)

Jamie shows up the day after Alison gets back, lets himself in with the key he still has and scares her half to death when she wakes up to his grinning face. )
hardparade: (dead weather; alison & jack)
I feel a bit stupid about this, but also like it makes sense in a weird way. I've often thought that these pairings aren't too dissimilar from the incestuous ones I ship, because there's that intense closeness but also a really significant line that stops them from going too far. Also, you know, sometimes Jack White says things that are just asking for fanfiction.

I will warn you now that AUs are not my strong suit.


Title: just grew there wild
Author: likecharity
Pairing: Alison Mosshart/Jack White and a bit of Alison Mosshart/Jamie Hince, with mentions of Jamie Hince/Kate Moss and other pairings in varying levels of vagueness.
Rating: Hard R
Warnings: Real person het, cousin/cousin incest, and twincest if you squint. Also, age differences? Alison is 16, Jack and Jamie are 18 and 24.
Summary: An AU in which Jack and Meg are twins, Dean and LJ are their brothers, Alison is their cousin who spends the summers with them, and Kate and Karen are sisters who live next door. (And Jamie is still just Jamie.)
A/N: What is this? This is so ridiculous. I blame this thing that Jack said and [livejournal.com profile] restlesspulse for encouraging me to make something of it. XD Title from 'Use It' by The New Pornographers. And I feel like I should mention that I've messed with everyone's age differences a little bit to make things work, but you know, I've also made a bunch of them related, so if you're looking for realism you're in the wrong place.

Last time Alison saw them, she was eleven and they were thirteen, but even five years later she recognizes them instantly. )
hardparade: (kills; jamie)
I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY?

Or, a really ridiculous idea.

Either way, it was brought about by this interview with The Kills. They're asked how they can be so sexual even though they split up. (I love it when they're asked if they're a couple and stuff, it's so interesting to analyse their reactions.) Anyway, Jamie's like "We were never lovers" and the interviewer is like "Never?" and they're both like "Mm-mm, never" and then there's a pause, and Jamie goes "So...that's why." And then Alison cracks up and there's awkward laughter all round. (If you just want to watch that bit, there are little markers you can hover over to see which question is asked at each timestamp.)

This kind of reveals something about how Jamie sees the two of them and their sexuality, right? ...Right?

Click to humour me. )

They really do drive me crazy sometimes. MAKE SENSE.
hardparade: (weeds; silas & nancy)
WEEDS RAMBLING TIME. Okay, it's been a while since I watched this, so it might be tricky. I've got notes that I took at the time, but some of them are vague and I don't remember the context. There's a lot of them though. This season was a goldmine for family weirdness, but it is DARK AS HELL, I forgot about that! Essentially, it's horrific, so I'll be ignoring a lot of things. Also I've been marathoning The Mighty Boosh lately, so my brain has gone totally weird, but let's stick it out and hopefully this will make reasonable amounts of sense.

And I'm using my 'be more incestuous! oh wait impossible' tag for this entry, on account of this being the season in which SHANE MASTURBATES TO NAKED PICTURES OF HIS OWN MOTHER. If that doesn't justify the use of said tag, I don't know what does.



THOUGHTS ON SEASON FOUR. )

It looks like my season 5 post, if I ever get around to that, is going to be the longest yet. I have issues. :/
hardparade: (kills; alison (smoking))
Lol, in my last entry I was like "I'm not writing at the moment but I'll probably post some picspams or something!" and since then I've been writing TONS. I've actually been working on something else, this really long Kills fic about the two of them drifting apart. Originally the focus of it was Alison having lots of sex with other people, but that's barely a part of it anymore, and I think my brain is like BUT I WANTED TO WRITE PORN because then this just sort of magically appeared.

'This' being some slightly kinky Alison/Jack PWP. I DID NOT EVER EXPECT TO WRITE SUCH A THING. I feel like I'm cheating on Alison/Jamie. This is exactly the kind of fic I would probably be opposed to reading, and yet I seem to have written it.


Title: take your coat off and make a mess of me
Author: likecharity
Pairing: Alison Mosshart/Jack White
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Real person het, light bondage, breathplay, rough and slightly angry sex.
Summary: Short PWP. Her hair's still damp with sweat, and her t-shirt's soaked too from the show, and maybe to another man she would seem disgusting, but this is how he likes her best—when she's still Baby Ruthless, high from performing, fierce and bold and demanding. A woman you have to restrain.
A/N: I have very little idea of where this came from, but here it is. I guess I've probably just been wanting to write some quick and dirty submissive!Alison for a while now. Title from 'Two Left Feet' by Anya Marina.

He ties her hands down, because otherwise they roam, and he doesn't like to let them. )
hardparade: (celeb; simon)
So this is kind of out of the blue, which in a way shouldn't be that surprising when you look at my past few entries. I've just been having sort of a British comedy fest, and then this post kind of...happened. It's sort of a primer, except that it assumes you already know who Russell Brand and Simon Amstell are. But apart from that, it's very thorough?

The thing is, sometimes I think that Simon Amstell is my favourite person. And against my better judgement I still have a special place in my heart for Russell Brand, despite all his wrongdoings. And the two of them are good friends and you know that I will ship people based on less than that, so...


'You're quite a lovely innocent little man, is how I think when I'm round your house.' )

This is one of those times where I spend a while compiling a post, only to realise there will be almost no interest at all. *sigh*
hardparade: (misc; girls)
THIS POST BROUGHT TO YOU BY IMMENSE AMOUNTS OF SEXUAL FRUSTRATION.

Sex and sexy things picspam, part four.

Sadly hardly any of these have credit, but as always it's click-through where available, and if you know the source of something, let me know! As well as the pictures, many of the sites linked to are NSFW.



let's keep the party going all night long. NSFW. )

If you enjoyed this and are not already on my porn filter (under which I post downloads of porn in video-format) let me know and I'll add you to it!
hardparade: (weeds; nancy)
Don't worry! I will not be only posting about Jedward from now on! I'd like to say that was a momentary lapse in my sanity, but it appears to be continuing, so we'll just have to see. (I may have bought a t-shirt and downloaded an album; it doesn't look promising.)

But in the meantime, more Weeds! Fewer caps and stuff this time around because I got lazy, but lots of over-analysis because, y'know, I'm still me.



THOUGHTS ON SEASON THREE. )
hardparade: (celeb; noel)
POSTING THIS AND GETTING IT ALL OVER WITH, OKAY. What is wrong with me lately? After spending yesterday writing that totally ridiculous threesome, I figured I'd do something more normal and/or useful with myself today. But then this happened.


Title: you can have whatever you like
Author: likecharity
Pairing: John Grimes/Edward Grimes/Noel Fielding
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Real person slash, twincest, age difference, and...double penetration (Edward on the receiving end).
Summary: Porn, porn, 5000 more words of porn. After filming he pretty much figured they would just disappear from his life, but to have them here in his bedroom, actually literally asking for it—what the hell else is he supposed to do? Nobody has that kind of willpower, okay? Nobody.
A/N: I accidentally a whole sequel. :/ This time I would like to blame [livejournal.com profile] portraitofafool please. (Follows on from this.)

'Oh, Christ,' sighs Noel, rubbing his face as he stands there in the doorway. It's 10am and fucking Jedward are on his doorstep. He should've known they wouldn't understand the concept of a one night stand. )

AND IF ANYONE TRIES TO ENCOURAGE ME TO TURN THIS INTO SOME KIND OF SERIES AND GET RUSSELL BRAND INVOLVED, THEN—THEN I QUIT THE INTERNET. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE I WON'T WRITE IT.
hardparade: (celeb; uffie)
Reply to this post and I will pick five of your userpics for you to talk about in your journal.

[livejournal.com profile] corleones picked these for me:


dreamers; twins| the limbs of one seemed also to belong to the other (© [livejournal.com profile] yeahsoanyway)
The Dreamers is my favourite movie in the world, which is something you probably already knew about me. Isabelle and Theo's relationship is so fascinating and so I wanted an icon of them even though I don't really talk about the movie often. I kind of use it as my generic incest icon sometimes. The keywords are a quote from the book by Gilbert Adair, describing the scene the icon depicts.

More behind the cut! )

In other news, fffffffff it is my 21st birthday on Thursday. D: I do not like birthdays lately; getting older freaks me out. And everyone makes a big deal about 21sts, even though it basically means nothing here. Idk, idk, I can haz reassurance?
hardparade: (misc; never mind the buzzcocks (pedo))
Uh. Haha. No, I don't really have any words for this. Except that if you're up at 4am scribbling in a notebook, you really can't let a fic idea go.

Also! Just out of curiosity, is there anywhere Noel-related that I can crosspost this? Like, imagining I just decided to throw out the rest of my dignity? I know there are Boosh comms and stuff but I feel like there should be a sort of general, Noel-Fielding-having-sex-with-random-people appreciation society, because I would probably get a lot of use out of that.


Title: big boy rides and big boy ice
Author: likecharity
Pairing: John Grimes/Edward Grimes/Noel Fielding
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Real person slash, twincest, and a bit of focus on age difference—Noel is in his late thirties, and the twins are 19...and act a lot younger.
Summary: Porn, porn, 6000 words of porn. "Can I ask why you've chosen me for your sexual debut with non-family members?"
A/N: WHAT IN THE WORLD. Can we blame that old episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks that I foolishly decided to rewatch? And [livejournal.com profile] staypainted? And these gifs? Please? (Also, the title is from 'Whatever You Like' by T.I., though I was listening to the Anya Marina cover because: hnnng.)

'Woah, woah, woah.' Noel's hand flies up to his face, covering his eyes. 'Oh. Shit. No. Okay.' )
hardparade: (jedward; ghostbusters)
So this was either gonna be celebration or consolation. Consolation it is! *sigh*

Basically, this came about because Celebrity Big Brother was like, the Jedward softcore porn show. WITH ADDED KINK. Like the twincest wasn't enough, they were throwing us clingfilm bondage and crossdressing and ageplay and BDSM-y things and what is anybody even supposed to do with this. Besides write fic. GOD DAMMIT.

(Not to mention: sharing a bath, sharing a bed (well, a tower of mattresses, and top-to-tail, but still!), John writing his name on Edward's wrist, helping each other shave, checking each other out, and uh, this. JFC.)


Title: five times jedward nearly got off together in the big brother house
Author: likecharity
Pairing: John Grimes/Edward Grimes
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Real person slash. Twincest, crossdressing, bondage. Uh...things that are on the show already, essentially.
Summary: See title?
A/N: FML.

The thing is, they're trapped in a house with a whole bunch of other people and a whole bunch of cameras, and privacy basically doesn't exist. )

oh god, now I kind of want to write a fic in which they put all these kinks into practice upon leaving the house
hardparade: (narnia; anna)
Okay, so this is completely random, but hopefully amusing. I've had a Google Analytics account for a while now, and I mostly forget that it exists but occasionally check out the traffic sources and what gets the most views etc when I remember. And I recently discovered that I can see how people find my journal via search engines, like what searches have led them here. And some of them are totally baffling and hilarious.

And I feel kind of bad, because I'm absolutely certain that the majority of my Google searches are totally bizarre, and sometimes things look totally weird if you don't understand the context, but—I have to share, okay?

Under the cut. )

So, yeah. I'm glad that people are ending up here even if it's a total accident. HI, EVERYBODY!

In other news, I've become interested in Jedward again, because of Celebrity Big Brother. D: Ugh, I can't help it, okay? Like, me and twincest, it's just like a moth to a flame. The worst part is that I started watching purely for the little inappropriate moments, and now I've ended up a) completely hooked on the show in general and b) genuinely liking the twins as people. THEY'RE SO ADORABLE. I think they would drive me insane if I had to actually live with them, but as entertainment you can't really beat them. And they're just so positive about everything and so childlike in their view of the world and like, I actually kind of admire them in a weird way? I HOPE THEY WIN. WHAT EVEN.

I can now tell them apart probably 99% of the time without a problem, which worries me. And holy crap Edward is hot. And seriously, they are SO INCESTUOUS, it is fantastic. Obviously I am writing fic pretty much as we speak. You are all going to defriend me now y/n

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