OH CHRIST I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ALEX. ♥ ENDLESS THANK YOUS FOR THIS, SERIOUSLY.
I can't help thinking that this kind of thing happens to the boys more often than anyone would like to imagine. I knowww. And it depresses me so much. What was SO HARD was not being able to write about how Nick was feeling, because, god, he takes music so seriously and to have someone he really admires and respects put him down like that would totally tear him apart. And make him angry, too, probably. I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE, ACK.
I would have had him being all over Nick but I love how calm he is, how he balances Nick out but doesn't overwhelm him. It feels real, it feels so much like Joe. I'M SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT, I WAS WORRIED HE WASN'T SMOTHERING NICK ENOUGH. XD
I'm glad you liked Nick calling Caleb 'sir' and it feeling believable too because I was a liiiittle bit unsure about it. I WANTED to put it in but I wasn't sure if it would work. And, just, again, thank you for the reassurance about both Joe and Nick coming across well, because I feel like when I concentrate on one I lose sight of the other or something, IDK.
I love how you can't tell if it's cause of the Kings of Leon, or if it's cause of Joe. Not even Joe, just the whisper that things could change, the danger of where they're moving. AUGH THIS. I LOVE THAT YOU GOT THIS. The danger/changing and the JOE thing because it WAS partly about him. It's like...if I'd done anything from Nick's POV it would have showed that he had these feelings building up for Joe that he didn't quite understand and was trying to shut out, and was ending up shutting JOE himself out in the process, and finding that easier to do because of the KOL thing. I WANTED SO BADLY TO HINT AT THAT. BUT I COULDN'T BECAUSE JOE DIDN'T KNOW. *sigh* NEXT TIME I WANT TO SWITCH POVS THROUGHOUT, OKAY.
And, YAY at the difference between the Caleb/Nathan and the Joe/Nick scenes working. I mean obviously the differences were THERE but I felt like I should draw attention to them more somehow? Hence, with Joe/Nick, the slower pace and the hesitation, the decision NOT to do anything sexual even though their bodies wanted it, whereas Caleb and Nathan gave into that without a second thought, etc. And, see, I wanted to make those points clearer somehow but I didn't want to be like HEY LOOK AT WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE YOU GUYS. So I'm glad it had this effect on you anyway.
I reeeeally love what you said about the ending, because I sort of wrote it on a whim like OH THIS WORKS, and then stopped and thought about it for like an hour. I really wasn't sure. But in the end I kept it because of basically what you said. And it's a happy ending sort of, but not in a YAY THINGS ARE FIXED way, in a...'things are still totally broken and will probably get worse, but we're accepting it' way. Just, coming to terms with it, because they've reassured each other that they care about each other, and they've seen that Caleb and Nathan do too.
I really cannot thank you enough for this comment, my god. I love it. I just...it's made me so happy. I'm so, so glad you feel the way you do about this!! ♥
Re: And maybe sometimes I'm glad I don't actually have brothers.
I can't help thinking that this kind of thing happens to the boys more often than anyone would like to imagine.
I knowww. And it depresses me so much. What was SO HARD was not being able to write about how Nick was feeling, because, god, he takes music so seriously and to have someone he really admires and respects put him down like that would totally tear him apart. And make him angry, too, probably. I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE, ACK.
I would have had him being all over Nick but I love how calm he is, how he balances Nick out but doesn't overwhelm him. It feels real, it feels so much like Joe.
I'M SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT, I WAS WORRIED HE WASN'T SMOTHERING NICK ENOUGH. XD
I'm glad you liked Nick calling Caleb 'sir' and it feeling believable too because I was a liiiittle bit unsure about it. I WANTED to put it in but I wasn't sure if it would work. And, just, again, thank you for the reassurance about both Joe and Nick coming across well, because I feel like when I concentrate on one I lose sight of the other or something, IDK.
I love how you can't tell if it's cause of the Kings of Leon, or if it's cause of Joe. Not even Joe, just the whisper that things could change, the danger of where they're moving.
AUGH THIS. I LOVE THAT YOU GOT THIS. The danger/changing and the JOE thing because it WAS partly about him. It's like...if I'd done anything from Nick's POV it would have showed that he had these feelings building up for Joe that he didn't quite understand and was trying to shut out, and was ending up shutting JOE himself out in the process, and finding that easier to do because of the KOL thing. I WANTED SO BADLY TO HINT AT THAT. BUT I COULDN'T BECAUSE JOE DIDN'T KNOW. *sigh* NEXT TIME I WANT TO SWITCH POVS THROUGHOUT, OKAY.
And, YAY at the difference between the Caleb/Nathan and the Joe/Nick scenes working. I mean obviously the differences were THERE but I felt like I should draw attention to them more somehow? Hence, with Joe/Nick, the slower pace and the hesitation, the decision NOT to do anything sexual even though their bodies wanted it, whereas Caleb and Nathan gave into that without a second thought, etc. And, see, I wanted to make those points clearer somehow but I didn't want to be like HEY LOOK AT WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE YOU GUYS. So I'm glad it had this effect on you anyway.
I reeeeally love what you said about the ending, because I sort of wrote it on a whim like OH THIS WORKS, and then stopped and thought about it for like an hour. I really wasn't sure. But in the end I kept it because of basically what you said. And it's a happy ending sort of, but not in a YAY THINGS ARE FIXED way, in a...'things are still totally broken and will probably get worse, but we're accepting it' way. Just, coming to terms with it, because they've reassured each other that they care about each other, and they've seen that Caleb and Nathan do too.
I really cannot thank you enough for this comment, my god. I love it. I just...it's made me so happy. I'm so, so glad you feel the way you do about this!! ♥