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hardparade) wrote2011-06-05 11:45 pm
hardparade) wrote2011-06-05 11:45 pm
we are a fever; we ain't born typical
So I promised a few people that I would update about The Kills concert last week, and this is that post. I'm afraid it won't be very interesting. I mean, nothing earth-shattering happened, and I didn't take any photos, so the gist will probably be something like "It was good! They played some songs and I enjoyed them! But I got the hiccups. Sadface."
I'm trying to focus on the good things though because—well, with my social anxiety, and the fact that I rarely leave the house these days, it was difficult. I mean, I knew it would be difficult, so I was kind of prepared, but I just have the tendency to fixate on every negative thing until the event becomes this awful thing in my mind. But it wasn't! I just need to keep reminding myself I'm being ridiculous.
I think that maybe meeting up with my sister's friend—the girl I've had a crush on since I was about eleven—right beforehand, might have been part of the problem. She brought along her boyfriend, and some other guy (which we weren't expecting) and that was really nervewracking. Like, seeing her again after a few years was going to be scary enough, and obviously I'm not so good with new people. But I coped! The problem was that a lot of that coping came from the wine her boyfriend bought us, and I ended up more drunk than I had meant to be.
What I hate about alcohol is that it just seems so unpredictable. Like, the worst hangover I ever had, I barely drank anything the night before. And then once at a party, I had one of like, every type of alcohol ever, and was absolutely FINE. And this time—I really don't think I had more wine than I usually would, so maybe it just interacted weirdly with my nerves? Anyway, it's not like I ended up fainting or throwing up, it just would have been nicer to be able to appreciate the whole thing in a less dazed sort of way.
I'd also sort of forgotten that with concerts, the support acts take FOREVER. So we got there like, way too early, and there was a lot of waiting around. I'd planned to secure a good place in the crowd, but it turned out that in the venue, there was like a side door from which it was really easy to get to the front (on Alison's side, too—A+). So it wasn't necessary, and we hung around by the bar instead. (We did see some of the second support act though. Who were called S.C.U.M. They were not good.)
THEN, the worst part of the night happened, which was me getting the hiccups. Which sounds like a very minor occurence, but oh my god, I get the worst hiccups EVER. I've had them last for nearly a week before, and they're just the most painful thing and make me feel so sick. Sometimes I can stop them if I hold my breath, but I didn't catch them in time. And once they've started, I just sort of have to let them run their course. It sucked, though—it definitely hindered my enjoyment of the night. :(
So due to this sudden freak-out, we missed the first song (No Wow) and only heard it through the wall. But after that, we managed to snake through the crowd and get pretty close, with only two people in front of us. It was so surreal seeing them in person btw—I've only ever really had that experience before with Patrick Wolf and the Narnia cast (in terms of proximity and knowing a lot about the person) and so it was kind of jarring! Especially seeing as I wrote fic about them. It was just weird.
But very cool, of course! And Alison looked so beautiful. ♥_♥ Lol, it was so funny with my sister—she had never heard their music before I asked her to come with me, so she really didn't know much about them. I'd sent her some songs, and showed her some photos, and that morning we watched the video for 'Last Day of Magic' (to which her response was sort of like "...right, okay"). And she agreed that Alison was pretty, but she didn't really get it until she saw her in person. Afterwards, she was like "I just want to go up to her and be like 'You're so pretty. And I hadn't even heard of you beforehand so I'm not like a crazy obsessed fan or anything! Can we just...go off and get married?'" It was so cute. I mean, my sister is already a lesbian, but I do love how women just fall in love with Alison so easily. ♥
Speaking of which, I was amused at how many people were wearing leopard print. The backdrop of the stage was leopard print too, actually, which was quite cool. Anyway! They played most of the new album, of course, which—idk, it's growing on me, but there are a lot of songs that I'm just indifferent to. :( I was pleasantly surprised at how many of the older ones they played though. 'Kissy Kissy' was awesome, but it also really highlighted how much their stage presence has changed. Because every older performance of that song I've seen, it's just been DRIPPING with sexual tension, like you can just feel it. They rarely take their eyes off each other and they get so close and share the mic and stuff. And this time...they barely looked at each other. It makes me really sad, mostly, but I'm also so interested in the fact that there's such an obvious change that's occurred.
There were a few moments though—ugh I wish I'd been more sober so I could like, document it properly. I do remember them getting really close to each other at one point. And there were also a few points where Alison would come up to the wall right by us, and lean against it with one leg bent (which, btw: hnnnng) and man, the way Jamie looks at her. I was sort of more transfixed by him than her, purely because of the look in his eyes. That was really the only thing that felt familiar to the other performances I've seen; that look. I just can't even with that. He just looks at her like she's the only person in the whole world, like the crowd isn't there. And like he needs her. And it was fascinating, and sort of hot, but it also just made me sad and frustrated, because I feel like they could have such a good thing and it's just like they're refusing to see it and alsl;jadjsdljjffsd. /far too emotionally involved
ANYWAY they did 'U.R.A Fever' and everyone went CRAZY when we heard the beeps at the beginning, and my sister was like ?! which was amusing. I think it was when 'Baby Says' started that I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up, which is a shame because I do actually really like that song, but I just had to get out of there. So then my sister and I spent a couple of songs hunched in a toilet cubicle until I realised I wasn't actually going to puke. I think my hiccups were just making me feel that nauseous? But thankfully, the fear of that somehow distracted my diaphragm, and the hiccups went away for the rest of the concert. :D
So I don't know which songs we missed, but we came back near the end of 'You Don't Own The Road' and then they did 'Sour Cherry' which was aaawesome. And 'Pots and Pans' which I think is my favourite from the new album. And for the encore, they did 'The Last Goodbye' and I'm still kind of 'eh' about that song, but it was really quite powerful live. It was also kind of emotional seeing Jamie standing behind Alison watching her sing, too. And they did 'Fried My Little Brains'!! I love that song so much. I danced as much as I could in my very small amount of space.
They had their arms around each other the first time they bowed, but after the encore they held hands. ♥ (Or maybe the other way around. DAMN THE ALCOHOL. I need to go see them again sober, clearly.) And then we left, and my hiccups came back, and it was incredibly embarrassing on the bus for the journey home. BUT I HAD A GOOD TIME. I SAW ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BANDS IN PERSON. AND THEY PLAYED SOME OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS. I do still wish I'd seen them in like, the height of their insane-sexual-tension stage, but...eh, we can't turn back time. (Plus, I probably would have felt awkward seeing that in person. I mean, even seeing Jamie look at her the way he does—it felt odd, like it wasn't something we should be seeing. It's weird! THEY ARE SO WEIRD.)
In other news, I have been alone in the house since Wednesday lunchtime and will continue to be until Tuesday morning, because my Mum is on holiday. I have cats to keep me company, and I've had phone calls from various family members (including my grandparents—even the ones in the US, bless them), and I'm no longer thinking I'm going to die whenever I hear a tiny noise at night, but I'm still kinda going stir crazy. *clings to you all* KEEP ME ENTERTAINED? Let's talk about Kills fic that I should write.
I'm trying to focus on the good things though because—well, with my social anxiety, and the fact that I rarely leave the house these days, it was difficult. I mean, I knew it would be difficult, so I was kind of prepared, but I just have the tendency to fixate on every negative thing until the event becomes this awful thing in my mind. But it wasn't! I just need to keep reminding myself I'm being ridiculous.
I think that maybe meeting up with my sister's friend—the girl I've had a crush on since I was about eleven—right beforehand, might have been part of the problem. She brought along her boyfriend, and some other guy (which we weren't expecting) and that was really nervewracking. Like, seeing her again after a few years was going to be scary enough, and obviously I'm not so good with new people. But I coped! The problem was that a lot of that coping came from the wine her boyfriend bought us, and I ended up more drunk than I had meant to be.
What I hate about alcohol is that it just seems so unpredictable. Like, the worst hangover I ever had, I barely drank anything the night before. And then once at a party, I had one of like, every type of alcohol ever, and was absolutely FINE. And this time—I really don't think I had more wine than I usually would, so maybe it just interacted weirdly with my nerves? Anyway, it's not like I ended up fainting or throwing up, it just would have been nicer to be able to appreciate the whole thing in a less dazed sort of way.
I'd also sort of forgotten that with concerts, the support acts take FOREVER. So we got there like, way too early, and there was a lot of waiting around. I'd planned to secure a good place in the crowd, but it turned out that in the venue, there was like a side door from which it was really easy to get to the front (on Alison's side, too—A+). So it wasn't necessary, and we hung around by the bar instead. (We did see some of the second support act though. Who were called S.C.U.M. They were not good.)
THEN, the worst part of the night happened, which was me getting the hiccups. Which sounds like a very minor occurence, but oh my god, I get the worst hiccups EVER. I've had them last for nearly a week before, and they're just the most painful thing and make me feel so sick. Sometimes I can stop them if I hold my breath, but I didn't catch them in time. And once they've started, I just sort of have to let them run their course. It sucked, though—it definitely hindered my enjoyment of the night. :(
So due to this sudden freak-out, we missed the first song (No Wow) and only heard it through the wall. But after that, we managed to snake through the crowd and get pretty close, with only two people in front of us. It was so surreal seeing them in person btw—I've only ever really had that experience before with Patrick Wolf and the Narnia cast (in terms of proximity and knowing a lot about the person) and so it was kind of jarring! Especially seeing as I wrote fic about them. It was just weird.
But very cool, of course! And Alison looked so beautiful. ♥_♥ Lol, it was so funny with my sister—she had never heard their music before I asked her to come with me, so she really didn't know much about them. I'd sent her some songs, and showed her some photos, and that morning we watched the video for 'Last Day of Magic' (to which her response was sort of like "...right, okay"). And she agreed that Alison was pretty, but she didn't really get it until she saw her in person. Afterwards, she was like "I just want to go up to her and be like 'You're so pretty. And I hadn't even heard of you beforehand so I'm not like a crazy obsessed fan or anything! Can we just...go off and get married?'" It was so cute. I mean, my sister is already a lesbian, but I do love how women just fall in love with Alison so easily. ♥
Speaking of which, I was amused at how many people were wearing leopard print. The backdrop of the stage was leopard print too, actually, which was quite cool. Anyway! They played most of the new album, of course, which—idk, it's growing on me, but there are a lot of songs that I'm just indifferent to. :( I was pleasantly surprised at how many of the older ones they played though. 'Kissy Kissy' was awesome, but it also really highlighted how much their stage presence has changed. Because every older performance of that song I've seen, it's just been DRIPPING with sexual tension, like you can just feel it. They rarely take their eyes off each other and they get so close and share the mic and stuff. And this time...they barely looked at each other. It makes me really sad, mostly, but I'm also so interested in the fact that there's such an obvious change that's occurred.
There were a few moments though—ugh I wish I'd been more sober so I could like, document it properly. I do remember them getting really close to each other at one point. And there were also a few points where Alison would come up to the wall right by us, and lean against it with one leg bent (which, btw: hnnnng) and man, the way Jamie looks at her. I was sort of more transfixed by him than her, purely because of the look in his eyes. That was really the only thing that felt familiar to the other performances I've seen; that look. I just can't even with that. He just looks at her like she's the only person in the whole world, like the crowd isn't there. And like he needs her. And it was fascinating, and sort of hot, but it also just made me sad and frustrated, because I feel like they could have such a good thing and it's just like they're refusing to see it and alsl;jadjsdljjffsd. /far too emotionally involved
ANYWAY they did 'U.R.A Fever' and everyone went CRAZY when we heard the beeps at the beginning, and my sister was like ?! which was amusing. I think it was when 'Baby Says' started that I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up, which is a shame because I do actually really like that song, but I just had to get out of there. So then my sister and I spent a couple of songs hunched in a toilet cubicle until I realised I wasn't actually going to puke. I think my hiccups were just making me feel that nauseous? But thankfully, the fear of that somehow distracted my diaphragm, and the hiccups went away for the rest of the concert. :D
So I don't know which songs we missed, but we came back near the end of 'You Don't Own The Road' and then they did 'Sour Cherry' which was aaawesome. And 'Pots and Pans' which I think is my favourite from the new album. And for the encore, they did 'The Last Goodbye' and I'm still kind of 'eh' about that song, but it was really quite powerful live. It was also kind of emotional seeing Jamie standing behind Alison watching her sing, too. And they did 'Fried My Little Brains'!! I love that song so much. I danced as much as I could in my very small amount of space.
They had their arms around each other the first time they bowed, but after the encore they held hands. ♥ (Or maybe the other way around. DAMN THE ALCOHOL. I need to go see them again sober, clearly.) And then we left, and my hiccups came back, and it was incredibly embarrassing on the bus for the journey home. BUT I HAD A GOOD TIME. I SAW ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BANDS IN PERSON. AND THEY PLAYED SOME OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS. I do still wish I'd seen them in like, the height of their insane-sexual-tension stage, but...eh, we can't turn back time. (Plus, I probably would have felt awkward seeing that in person. I mean, even seeing Jamie look at her the way he does—it felt odd, like it wasn't something we should be seeing. It's weird! THEY ARE SO WEIRD.)
In other news, I have been alone in the house since Wednesday lunchtime and will continue to be until Tuesday morning, because my Mum is on holiday. I have cats to keep me company, and I've had phone calls from various family members (including my grandparents—even the ones in the US, bless them), and I'm no longer thinking I'm going to die whenever I hear a tiny noise at night, but I'm still kinda going stir crazy. *clings to you all* KEEP ME ENTERTAINED? Let's talk about Kills fic that I should write.
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Being on your own sounds tricky too! :( I hope you manage to keep yourself distracted.
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I recently started listening to The Kills. I love them so much. I've been looking up clips of them on youtube and their shows seem so exciting.
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I'm sorry it got a little intense, but I'm really glad you had a good time despite that :)
Now, I still don't know very much about The Kills (although I rather love Midnight Boom) so I can't offer many suggestions on Kills fic. However, the dynamic you describe rather suggests to me that any encounter between them would involve restraints. And possibly paddles. Just sayin' :p
I hope you're coping on your own ok. I don't know if I've recced this to you - I rec it to everyone at one time or another, often more than once - but if you haven't read it then
There's also a podfic of it, here: http://audiofic.jinjurly.com/matching-muff-matrimony
which is rather good if you feel like being read to :)
What else?
Oh yes. Did you ever see As If?
It's kind of a pre-Skins Skins (teen drama, set in London, changing POVs) but a lot more consistent, and loads of fun. It's not on DVD, so I tracked them all down on DVD and put them on my mediafire count for safekeeping.
You might like i,. I think it's ace :D
It's here, if you fancy taking a look:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ew6mq03h4v3vu
(If you do download them, note that the first ep in the season 1 list is actually episode 14. Episode 1 is 6 episodes down. Also, a lot of them have a Spanish primary soundtrack, so you'll have to use something like VLC to change to track 2, which is the Englsh one).
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Anyway, sorry about your hiccups. They can be painful and the headaches they cause are hideous. I have a technique for getting rid of them that works most times if you want.
You know, it's like you say - the way they're different on stage now is half sad, half fascinating. And I almost blushed myself just reading your account of how he looks at her. I want to see it in real life! You're pretty brave to ask you sister to go with you - I'd have been worried they'd be doing their guitar sex thing and I'd feel all grossed out having to watch that with my family member!
Oh, and the being home alone thing - isn't it so weird how sound is just different then?! Like noises you hear all the time when everyone's home are suddenly totally different and it's definitely a murderer. Gah. It kind of takes the fun away from having the house to yourself. Sometimes daytime can be creepier actually. Like being in one of those abandoned ghost towns. Oops, I'm not helping, am I? Sorry! Don't worry, you're mum will be back in a matter of hours and it's gets light earlier nowadays!
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