hardparade: (one direction; louis (drunk))
[personal profile] hardparade
So I have a Google Analytics account, and I stopped checking it about a month ago because the stats now are actually TERRIFYING, but yesterday I was a little tipsy and curious and decided to look at it again. And first of all:



GUESS WHEN I GOT INTO ONE DIRECTION *despairing laughter*

But also, I remembered that a while ago I made a post of all the most amusing Google searches that led people to my journal, and so I decided to do another one of those just for the lulz. We need them after that Mojo interview. (Which is here if you haven't seen it but man, it is TORTURE and you're probably best steering clear, trust me.) Anyway, I feel a bit mean about this because I'm sure my own Google searches are super weird but some of these are just so bizarre and hilarious that I have to share them.

louis liam interview penis - hahaha.

best latex shiner – I like this one.

boobs - I mean, lol, but also how many pages of results did this person have to go through??

i am living underwater - ......



carey mulligan serial killer – what.

aaron johnson crying - I approve of your life choices.

betty ann followill – ...I just really hope this wasn't the Followills' mother googling herself.

kiss fanfic georgie skandar – awww.

cupcake goth – what.

louis tomlinson sassy / louis tomlinson bitchface / louis tomlinson embarrassing - ahahaha.

kelso eric "penis" – lololol.

mark salling nipple ring – ?!

james and oliver rps – Phelps? I've not written it, but I can't say I'm surprised I showed up.

brothers of the head fanfiction – again, no, but you're on the right track!

harry styles has no hips - hahaha.

shane x silas gay stories – the way this is phrased is kind of cute.

simon amstell fluff – awww. I bet this person had just seen his stand-up and was in desperate need of some stories about him being happy.

toby regbo height – random.

sienna miller arguing – what?!

william moseley kissing georgies head – awww.

i really think dee was my soulmate. noel fielding – I don't even know if this is a real quote but awwww. :(

james mcavoy, the real man – ...

very kinky shit supernatural - you might need to be more specific. Not that I can help either way.

in live journal how do you join a community / lj acces denied how do i get permission - I'm just glad that at least SOME people are googling this instead of asking me, tbh.

mother son sex in weeds – well, it didn't actually HAPPEN.

nick jonas caleb followill – *fistpump*

peter pevensie "his cum" – hahahaha.

permanently delete livejournal immediately – oh dear.

cheap vegan meals – seriously though some of these are just baffling. HOW DID THIS LEAD TO ME?

ice dancing incest – what.

will p/georgie - yay!

in the middle of a room screaming - this might be my favourite.

period blood on shorts - that sucks. NOT SURE IF MY FIC HELPED ANY.

andrew wouldn't spend every minute with me - is this a quote from Jesse Eisenberg? I feel like this is probably a quote from Jesse Eisenberg.

gangbang jenny - meh!!!

simon amstell fielding noel slash sunglasses - ...sunglasses?

how can i get my hair super clean - HOW

he was bursting to pee and wet himself - ...no comment?

glee funfic gay - the typo here is cracking me up. At least I'm assuming it's a typo...

harry styles turn ons - lol.

caroline flack has bad breath - bwuh?

kohl rimmed eye - sometimes you're searching for make-up tips and you get cross-dressing slash about boybanders instead, IT HAPPENS

tonks masturbates turns into bellatrix - I don't really have anything to say about this one, I just want to appreciate the fact that it exists.

is it weird to have a historical crush - awwwwwww

motherhood poem livejournal - yeah man I write those all the time

foreign accents attractive sociology - it's weird because sometimes these are things I'm pretty sure I haven't actually posted about, and yet they fit quite well with who I am...

harry styles is bi - that's the general consensus.

why is louis tomlinson so tan - omg you can't just ask people why they're so tan

incest in weeds - yes good

like chariyy / likechariry / likechsrity / likechwrity / likehcairty / likehcharity / liekchaeity - I like to pretend these were all the same person. Possibly having a breakdown.

livejournal incest stories mother - it saddens me a little that I came up for this...

my otp is so fabulous i want to cry - I KNOW THAT FEEL, BRO

one direction drinking game rules - ooh, I want these too!

zac efron's butt - ahahaha.

how to write smut - awwww.

i love simon amstell - aww, you and me both, mysterious Googler.

Good times. In other news, does anyone know of a free image hosting site that a) allows bulk uploading, b) lets you keep the original filenames, and c) doesn't freak out over bandwidth? Because it seems I basically can't have a moodtheme anymore these days, you guys keep exceeding my Photobucket bandwidth. Which is pretty AMAZING tbh because I've never had that happen before, but also filenames are kind of necessary for moodthemes and it seems like all the other image hosts just rename them to random numbers/letters. :( NEVER MIND I THINK I FIXED IT

Date: 2012-06-05 11:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agape-eternal.livejournal.com
try http://imgbox.com

It might be what you're looking for. I know for sure it keeps the original file names.

Date: 2012-06-05 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I just tried uploading some there and it changed the filenames for me? But idk if I'm doing something wrong, lol.

Date: 2012-06-05 12:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aestivalblue.livejournal.com
those are all quite quite hilarious. and I never mentioned but I also love simon amstell so I am happy that my google searching would have eventually led me to you anyway one direction or no one direction ;)

Date: 2012-06-05 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
:D Simon Amstell is the GREATEST
(deleted comment)

Date: 2012-06-05 01:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM

I'm not even sure I've mentioned Carey Mulligan on my LJ to begin with, but DEFINITELY NOT IN THE CONTEXT OF HER BEING A SERIAL KILLER
(deleted comment)

Date: 2012-06-05 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
COLD

BLOODED

MURDERER

you can see it in her eyes

Date: 2012-06-05 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prunesquallormd.livejournal.com
*sigh*
I approve of the suit :)

Date: 2012-06-05 01:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foreverlarrup.livejournal.com
ahahahah a lot of these are really funny.

(but how did you manage to figure out google analytics? i got an account a while ago but it confused me so much i pretty much gave up on trying to figure it out)

Date: 2012-06-05 01:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
:D

(To be honest, I'm not sure I have. It confuses the hell out of me. I can just about manage to see like, sites that have linked me, the most popular pages, and the Google searches, but that's about it. It's a really complicated site!!)

Date: 2012-06-05 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tearpath.livejournal.com
My grandmother is here atm, big visit and stuff and all she can hear from me is my hyena laughter from my locked room. Dear god. Talk about being social.

But I really loved these, they remind me of your old lj generator posts. When I look you up, it's usually typing a single "l" into my search bar and your blog pops up automatically... but I have this feeling the "louis tomlinson bitchface" was also me. I am not even ashamed seeing this just under "cupcake goth". People are.. what. BUT THE ONE WHO COULDN'T SPELL YOUR NAME PROBABLY MADE MY YEAR. :D

Date: 2012-06-05 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
HAHAHA. Brilliant.

I'm totally going to do another one of the LJ generator posts soon too!! I'm glad you mentioned that. I've been compiling it and it has some great bits, though they're not as good as they used to be because of my fic being stored somewhere else now. And lol, I really want to believe that all the misspellings of my name were one person because that would be HILARIOUS. I just imagine them sitting there trying over and over and getting increasingly frustrated.

Date: 2012-06-05 06:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mannerspolice.livejournal.com
"kohl rimmed eye - sometimes you're searching for make-up tips and you get cross-dressing slash about boybanders instead, IT HAPPENS"

HAHAHAHA I want that to happen to me with everything. "How to dance the Charleston" - HERE'S SOME FANFICTION INSTEAD.

Date: 2012-06-05 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
HA that would be awesome. Like if there were an alternative Google where whatever you searched for, it would lead you to fanfiction.

Date: 2012-06-05 06:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fancydressmasks.livejournal.com
I think 'in the middle of a room screaming' is my favourite too! I love looking at the things people google :') It's often hilarious but it also gives me this weird sense of unity, like, 'oh look, we're all as weird as each other, aren't we?'

ALSO

I want to play this 1D drinking game.

Date: 2012-06-05 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
It's how I like to think of this fandom, tbh. And yes, I know what you mean!

I found this (http://harryspussycat.tumblr.com/post/20071023648/the-one-direction-drinking-game) for interviews and this (http://missdeedee140.tumblr.com/post/14791502084/one-direction-drinking-game) for the X Factor video diaries. THEY LOOK FUN BUT DANGEROUS.

Date: 2012-06-05 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prunesquallormd.livejournal.com
These are almost as awesome as the randomiser thingy whose name I can never remember (it's late, my brain isn't working :/).

I love that there are some Narnia searches in there :) <3

Date: 2012-06-06 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
The LJ Random Text Generator! I'm going to do another one posts those soon. :)

Yeah! There aren't so many nowadays I guess but they're still showing up, it's nice.

Date: 2012-06-11 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prunesquallormd.livejournal.com
*cough* You know if you ever get the urge to continue with The Night Starts Here you'd make me very happy *cough*
;)

I hope you're well and that you've recovered from the weekend's drama <3<3<3

Date: 2012-06-06 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jasmine-rosalee.livejournal.com
kohlrimmedeye is actually an lj person! I have her on my flist :) And she used to write X-Factor RPF (Aiden/Matt; One Direction) but she's sort of on hiatus now... That's probably why she popped up on your search thingy!

These are hilarious btw ;)

Date: 2012-06-06 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
OHHHHHHH that makes sense. And I'm kind of relieved, because if it was just someone stumbling upon my cross-dressing porn or something I felt a bit bad for them, haha. XD

Date: 2012-06-06 08:05 am (UTC)
ext_585618: (Default)
From: [identity profile] elipie.livejournal.com
omfg, dying at all of the google searches. I can't decide which one is my favorite! I kind of love "very kinky shit supernatural" though because... that is Supernatural fandom in a nutshell.

Date: 2012-06-06 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Aren't they great?? Lol I liked that one too. I have no idea how I came up for that though. Probably something to do with the first three words rather than the last one...*sigh*

Date: 2012-06-06 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tallestman.livejournal.com
"in the middle of a room screaming" is definitely my favorite.

Date: 2012-06-06 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I like to imagine it describes the One Direction fandom. We're basically all in the middle of a virtual room, screaming.

Date: 2012-06-06 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sofiawonderland.livejournal.com
OH GOD I'M LAUGHING SO HARD AT THOSE.

Date: 2012-06-06 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
AREN'T THEY AMAZING? I JUST. I DON'T EVEN.

Date: 2012-06-07 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ignatiustrout.livejournal.com
TONKS MASTURBATES TURNS INTO BELLATRIX THO i'm tempted to google it myself

also i'm cracking up at boobs for some reason, just because...really though...how many pages of that would one have to go through to get here?? that is a pretty epic foray into the boob results, and tbh i admire their dedication.

K GONNA GO READ YOUR CHARLIZE/KRISTEN FIC NOW BECAUSE YES. AND ALSO JOIN YOUR FIC COMMUNITY ALTHOUGH IT MAY TAKE ME A BIT TO GET THROUGH ALL THAT FIC BECAUSE YOU'RE CRAZY FANFICTION-PRODUCTIVE.

Date: 2012-06-07 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I LOVE THAT ONE SO MUCH I do kind of want to know if it was someone with really specific interests fic-wise or if they were searching for something they knew they'd read in the past.

Loling, IKR? I mean I talk about boobs SOMETIMES but surely I'm not even in like the top 200 pages?? I remember the last time I did this, the same thing happened with 'mcavoy' and 'naked' and, REALLY weirdly, 'mcdonalds'...

Ooooomg yay you're going to read my 1D stuff!! *flails* Do take your time though I mean I think there are FOURTEEN STORIES now, so. :|

Date: 2012-06-07 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tyrano5auruslex.livejournal.com
I laughed so hard at some of these that my mom thought I was dying.

Seriously though, like HOW DO some of these get back to you? XD

Date: 2012-06-07 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Hahaha. XD

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW I just have no idea with some of them.

Date: 2012-06-14 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kay18jay.livejournal.com
oh, it just dawned on me what the person who googled "liam louis interview penis" was looking for.

the interview from australia when they both admitted to being uncircumcised.

Crazy shit, crazy!
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