hardparade: (one direction; louis (drunk))
[personal profile] hardparade
I think it's high time for a Random Text Generator post! It's been AGES. For new friends who don't know what I'm talking about, there's this thing that sort of mashes up the sentences from various recent posts you've made and turns them into...well, gibberish, for the most part, but also HILARITY. They're usually best when they take bits from fic, but because none of my recent fic has been posted here the generator can't use it, which is sad. Still, these are pretty entertaining.

But then there's just this moment of like quiet panic, and Niall leaving a restaurant
giggling helplessly

Liam is like LISTEN TO ME I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITYYY.

People are beginning to doze off on his knees backstage.

by the way Harry's the only one who's drowning now
Oh good, well, as long as it's only Harry...

at the neckline of Louis's arse in his knees
SOMEBODY TOOK LOUIS APART AND PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER WRONG

i still think we might wake up the remote.


I'M BRITISH AND I LOVE YOU.

"Hey, so," he says, and his tongue pressing right up against the wall.
Well this adds another meaning to wall!sex.

A couple of moments later that Louis does this with Harry because that's the safest place to frantically neaten up their hair and chewing the skin of his face
...chewing? D:

:| Insomnia is a mere inconvenience. What. What?
This is brilliant tbh.

There, Louis will sing with a gentle sort of hoarse chuckle, and turns round to the wild noisy mess of the line is such a long time coming.
I just like this one.

Alison's hands are down by Harry's hips
Seven words and I'm flustered, tbh. Let's just take a moment to imagine Alison Mosshart/Harry Styles.

to think that could be the one difference between them like he's proud of him—and then he looks like they're not doing this without several metres of space and a dildo one time But just one time! It was just inevitable.
Omg the end of this.

Louis reaches up to cup Louis's face, thumb against cheekbone, and their mindless conversation that made it clear that it was Emma Watson and Natalie Portman are hot, and actually having a mancrush on Harry, so Harry doesn't give him that feels weirdly sort of anxiety that he and Liam takes a moment before remembering how to make him uncomfortable, and they seem like the boys a little cocky after he's been so dependent on each other as they press and slide against one another, sharp teeth slicing through clothing, nails becoming claws
I don't know what's going on here at ALL.

Actually, I bet Noel and pot makes it okay.
This Noel is Noel Fielding, so I think this sentence is probably pretty accurate tbh. Whatever 'it' is.

Harry's knees go weak, and he can't pick. LOUIS HOW GAY ARE YOU. HOW. GAY.

Alex is hard in about five seconds flat, and has to hurt him, he's just nervous, making sure Louis really wants this as much as possible.
Oh my god. (This Alex is Alex Day, btw, who basically admitted to being a bit of a One Direction fanboy, soooooo.)

death cab for cutie; brothers on a sofa cushion.
Brothers on a Futon. Brothers on a Sun Lounger. Brothers in a Tent.

"I just want to snog his face in Louis's shoulder because he's pretty adorbs and there's something with Harry because that's just the two of them squirm around under the bright lights. Only they didn't. Not tonight. "
Idk I kinda like this one.

they're having to keep things under wraps for their sake; he has no control over his face.
This is basically just...true, for Harry/Louis?

Alison frowns, looking back on Hogwarts days.
KILLS HARRY POTTER AU.

oh Jesus that is kind of shiny secret weapons but let's go with no.
I'm in love with this sentence and I want to start using 'shiny secret weapons' as a synonym for 'awesome.'

Louis is like "er, yeah." And I'm gonna suck you off? That's a thing," he whispers this time. "Yeah?" comes Louis's voice wavers and the lampshade hats and the cold weather. And immediately he regrets it, because he can't remember how to explain.
The lampshade hats.

He does accept a mug full of people

Harry kisses Louis on the kink meme, only it got a little bit too intense when he looks at Harry, and then I suppose he might try and get Charlie to do that in the arse.
Omg get out of here Charlie McDonnell you are too innocent for this. (...She says, like she hasn't written porn about him...twice.)

he shudders and splashes over his clenched fist and his pants are suddenly in a fanvid, and it's all fine
Okay, I'm in hysterics.

Charlie flushes and drops his gaze, unzipping Alex's jeans with a screenshot of my med withdrawal though SO THAT'S CONVENIENT.
A SCREENSHOT OF MY MED WITHDRAWAL. Otherwise known as: my entire journal for the past two months.

Mostly, it seems like Liam's little smiley look at pictures from way back, it's like—he was just innocently discussing fanmix ideas with astreindre and I felt like my heart was breaking, and NOW THE CUDDLING VIDEO, and.
Omg Liam/astreindre OTP. Although I actually seem like I'm pretty torn up about this...

"Hmm?" he says, a little dark spot on the heat of his notebook, and sucking on the sofa.

Louis being clingy and coupley and cuddly in a strange way, and fidgeting incessantly with Alex's own come
OH MY GOD

This causes Harry to cackle and then he's springing back like he's cross about something. Generally, he is behaving weirdly.

A/N: Technically, this is real
Hahaha it's like an anti-disclaimer. Which I like, because we could probably use that on a fair few Harry/Louis fics, lbr

For a moment Charlie is in fits of laughter at something Louis says, and his pants down, but pajama trousers give them something to stare at.
Stop it with the Youtubers/1D, generator.

At 0:48 Harry goes "kiss me you fool!" and Louis interrupts "but you'd better wait until you've met my family
Hahahaha oh my god.

so AWKWARD and awkward people are watching, seeing just how skilfully Louis can work Harry into a pool of love and arousal

Inspired by that one time that Harry mysteriously flipped out because people wanted to have someone to have to come up with Rihanna
I'm not even sure what this is supposed to mean but can we just take a moment to imagine Harry/Rihanna because like, it was talked about and everything, but no one mentioned HOW HOT THAT WOULD BE

animals in a relationship might be weird

A/N: WELP everything I've written for these two so far has been in a friendly way?
HAHAHA LIES

I don't like conspiracy theories
LIES

Wtf, I don't want to write bottom!Louis
ALSO LIES

this photo of them clambering all over each other, nothing else matters.
...truth

way too wrong to be like this. They shouldn't be like this. They shouldn't be like this. They shouldn't be so obsessed with making Harry seem straight
omg this is so ~intense

Because I'm kiiiind of overwhelmed by all the groping.
...I don't even know if this is an actual sentence that I typed at some point. It probably is. I KEEP HAVING THIS PROBLEM.

I know there's always some awesome discussion in the morning, and then eventually Louis is spanking him.
That's how all awesome discussions end, imo.

Also Harry is touching Zayn's face, dude, these guys regularly grab each other's boyfriend
Basically true?

all these middle-aged men with their limbs all tangled
...All right.

Can we go to a bar afterwards and I think I've been in a zoo anyway, Louis says

I mean, watch the whole band having sex with the ladies, and Louis holed up in her, that devil on her knees for her.

I'm not sure if he was having sex with the amount of friends requests I'm getting

Harry is making me do strange things
Accurate.

Okay wow what. This started out as just a comfort thing and they're both clearly enjoying themselves far too much. IDIOTS. IDIOT BOYS.

She's bold, she takes what she wants; she would have pets and get really bad secondhand embarrassment from it
Pets are so embarrassing, man.

Harry kisses Louis on the wall to remind us that Harry likes girls whenever something happens with him and how real that relationship was, but, considering that's the general consensus, why is louis tomlinson bitchface
wat

I'm so completely absurd.
...That seems like a good one to finish with.

GOOD TIMES. Favourites, anyone? Crackfic ideas? I love this so much, I should do it more often. I'm gonna use my silly generator tags for old times' sake and add a few more, because did you know you can have FOUR THOUSAND TAGS with a paid account?? I do not use this feature enough at all.
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