Oh wow, man, you got me to dig up my personal LJ account to comment here.
This is a fantastic fic. No, seriously. It's great. I felt that there was a perfect feeling of being on edge the entire time, like you really didn't know if Nathan would stop himself or not, and Reid felt completely in character the whole time. Like he knew that he probably couldn't help Nathan, he knew that he was making decisions based on an emotional need to feel like Nathan can get better, and he couldn't stop himself from trying anyway. I loved how he ran the gamut of emotions--trepidation, arousal, fear, tenderness, detached curiosity, exhaustion... it all felt perfect.
And Nathan! Great job with him. Dangerous, not entirely in control of himself, but desperately not wanting to murder someone. It's hopeful to see him throw the knife away, express genuine gratitude to Reid for consenting to this, and then make an effort to help take care of the wounds (because even if he probably wants to get another look at them, I can't help but feel he really wants to mitigate the damage he's done). It makes me feel like it's possible that this kind of controlled release will be enough for him as long as Reid is able to deal with the pain. And possibly, with those controlled bursts, Nathan will begin to learn how to control himself better--with regular access to the thing he desires, he doesn't need to be so desperate about milking every drop of enjoyment he can out of it, and he may or may not be able to find work-arounds so he doesn't have to do quite so much damage. Because ultimately, Reid was right: the fact that Nathan sought someone out in hopes that he wouldn't hurt people is a greater part of him than his sexuality, and if he faces it dead-on, he might be able to find a way to control it.
Although next time, they should probably think of a safeword.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-11-14 04:17 am (UTC)This is a fantastic fic. No, seriously. It's great. I felt that there was a perfect feeling of being on edge the entire time, like you really didn't know if Nathan would stop himself or not, and Reid felt completely in character the whole time. Like he knew that he probably couldn't help Nathan, he knew that he was making decisions based on an emotional need to feel like Nathan can get better, and he couldn't stop himself from trying anyway. I loved how he ran the gamut of emotions--trepidation, arousal, fear, tenderness, detached curiosity, exhaustion... it all felt perfect.
And Nathan! Great job with him. Dangerous, not entirely in control of himself, but desperately not wanting to murder someone. It's hopeful to see him throw the knife away, express genuine gratitude to Reid for consenting to this, and then make an effort to help take care of the wounds (because even if he probably wants to get another look at them, I can't help but feel he really wants to mitigate the damage he's done). It makes me feel like it's possible that this kind of controlled release will be enough for him as long as Reid is able to deal with the pain. And possibly, with those controlled bursts, Nathan will begin to learn how to control himself better--with regular access to the thing he desires, he doesn't need to be so desperate about milking every drop of enjoyment he can out of it, and he may or may not be able to find work-arounds so he doesn't have to do quite so much damage. Because ultimately, Reid was right: the fact that Nathan sought someone out in hopes that he wouldn't hurt people is a greater part of him than his sexuality, and if he faces it dead-on, he might be able to find a way to control it.
Although next time, they should probably think of a safeword.