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I forgot about the LJ Markov Random Text Generator.

First of all, BEN BARNES NEEDS TO STOP WRITING THREESOMES. THAT IS CLEARLY INSANE.

"It's okay, Skandar," Will murmurs gently, stroking him reassuringly. "You can and you still--" Will starts, but Skandar is sitting on her face -- dazed, blissful, his head against Will's palm and says tentatively, "Hello?" "It's me!" comes Anna's voice
(I adore this. It's fantastic comedy.)

the third time Skandar sees them kissing, they are so not as good as Daniel Radcliffe
(The generator has a crush on DanRad, we get it.)

His hips snap up and clutched to her chest with one hand cupping one of those Georgie things.
(Best euphemism for 'Georgie's breasts' ever.)

He spreads her gently with his hands all over the driveway with rakes and stuff.
(Wtf? Ewww.)

which Narnia author C.S. Lewis, as a softcore porn star...
(Rofl.)

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