hardparade: (weeds; shane & nancy)
[personal profile] hardparade
SO CAN WE TALK ABOUT WEEDS? I'm really enjoying the new season, but I was too busy enjoying it to do a post on each episode right after it aired, and so instead I've ended up with a bunch of (flaily) meta and screencaps for everything so far. And it feels like the sort of thing one posts on Tumblr, but everything I have to say is tinged with mother/son incest and I feel more safe talking about that here. THOUGH NOT BY MUCH. Last November I made a similar post (just about the season 6 finale) and was like "more on the mother/son incest thing later UNLESS IT WILL MAKE ME LOSE FRIENDS" and then I never posted again because I was still too scared to talk about it. -_-

I don't know, I mean, I feel like I'm just expanding on what the show portrays, but if that kind of thing seriously squicks you, I guess don't read this? Ughhh I totally used to hate the idea of parent/child but suddenly mother/son is the most interesting thing in the world to me. DAMN YOU, WEEDS. DAMN YOU TOO, JOHN LENNON. (Long story.) Honestly, though, it's more about the relationships as they are, as opposed to me wanting or expecting them to start making out any time soon. But still! Feel free to judge me! I'm judging myself a little bit, so. (Speaking of things I should probably be judged for: Alexander Gould is growing up well, right? ...Right?)





7x01: Bags



I love that about five seconds after finding out that Nancy is out of prison, Shane starts looking up flights. AND THEN, Silas's first question is "What about Renata?" As if, like, Nancy and Renata are on the same level? Like Renata has been this replacement Mom/girlfriend and Silas gets that and realises that now Nancy is back in the picture, Shane is just going to forget about Renata completely. (And Renata totally WAS a Mom/girlfriend. Shane's "I thought I was your baby"? Hellooo mommy issues.)

And then Silas's "I've stopped trying to figure out how that woman thinks. It's beyond all normal comprehension." Calling Nancy 'that woman', like, detaching himself from her as much as possible. And in contrast, Shane and Andy's reactions (first row)—Andy looks kind of stunned, stung, and Shane looks hurt too, but they both look sort of like they know he has a point.

Andy's genuine concern for Shane is so sweet. He kind of turns it back around to himself, asking if he should come too, but his little "What are you doing?" said in that serious, soft tone is such a THING. It's like—he knows. In a weird way, he's been the one who's closest to Shane all this time. And he was the one who found out about Shane masturbating to those photos. And it's been three years, you know? I'm sure that somewhere along the way, they've had some heartfelt talks about their respective feelings for Nancy (OH GOD now I want fic of that) and it's just like, he understands, but he knows it isn't good for Shane to just cling to Nancy that way.

I loooove Shane's response, though: "She went to jail for me. Now she's out, so I'm going to find her." The way he says 'she went to jail for me', like it's the most romantic thing in the world to him, I don't even know. And as always, Andy cracks me up – "She released us. She never said 'and then come back immediately when I get out'. Was that an implied part of it? God dammit, Nancy."

And Shane got tickets for Andy and Doug, and he says it's just because he wanted to get as much use out of Renata's credit card before she cancels it. BUT, if that was the only reason, why didn't he get a ticket for Silas? And I mean, I think he's not being entirely truthful—he needs Andy, like Andy says (btw, Andy's moony-eyes over this fact are also a thing), and he wants to kid himself that he could do this alone but deep down he's scared that he can't. But he doesn't want Silas along for the ride. And it's so much more than just assuming Silas doesn't want to go, because he knows that he does. It's partly possessiveness, I think—he wants Nancy all to himself, he doesn't want to share that reunion with Silas. He still feels like they're competing for Nancy's love.

So he tries to shrug it off—

Shane: Besides, you hate Mom.
Silas: I do not hate Mom.
Shane: Whatever you say. (...) I'll tell Mom you say hi.
Silas: She's just gonna fuck you up again.
Shane: No she's not. She's been rehabilitated.

Augh. The way Silas says he doesn't hate her. And "she's just gonna fuck you up again"—Silas is concerned for Shane just like Andy, but the two of them probably don't talk about Nancy so what Silas says has to be clear, to the point, even a little harsh. And the thing is, I can't tell if Shane is being sarcastic in that last line or not. He says it in a kind of mocking way, like he knows no one can rehabilitate Nancy—in which case, he's basically saying "I know, and I don't care." And if he's being genuine, well...it's just kind of painful, then, that he still has that faith in her.



***



7x02: From Trauma Cometh Something


Have I mentioned how fantastic the episode titles are? This is my second favourite after 'Theoretical Love Is Not Dead', I think.

Shane to Andy when trying to get into the halfway house: "Ask him if we can have breakfast with her." ♥ And then him snapping at Silas when Silas complains, because Silas is being ungrateful, because Shane thinks Silas should be just as excited as him even though at the same time he doesn't want him to be, because his love for Nancy is special. He tries to make it sound like Silas is the one being weird, when really Silas's reaction to the situation is probably more natural, you know? Avoidance, anxiety, discomfort.

Shane: Whatever, you're not even supposed to be here.
Silas: I came for work.
Shane: Right, suddenly when we leave, you decide to remake your career in New York. Please, just admit you miss Mom. Be a man.

He told Andy to 'be a man', too, when Andy couldn't decide if he should come to NY or not. It's interesting, that Shane believes he's being the most mature one, the most sensible and competent. And maybe in some ways he is—but his love is unhealthy and probably what's best for all of them at this point is to leave Nancy behind. This, what they're doing now, is what they would have done several years ago. They haven't moved on, they haven't changed. They're still clinging to her, and in that sense, Shane is being the child. He's the one who didn't even entertain the idea of staying away from her.

So then Silas sees Nancy, and Nancy flees. The looks on their faces. The fact that Silas is the first to see her, and the one who supposedly cares the least. (Except Doug. I ignore Doug a lot of the time. Apologies.) And even though he's acting like he doesn't give a shit, he still tries to look for her, hoping she's still there. When he tells the others, Shane's immediate reaction is "Did she see all of us?" Like, he wants Nancy to have seen him, but also maybe he doesn't, because he likes to think that if she had, maybe she would have stayed.

Andy: What the hell? What happened to Team Botwin? We made a collective decision to greet the woman we love. Sure, maybe she possibly—let's say probably fled from us, who in this room hasn't fled? It's a family flaw, fleeing. Which is why I say we set up camp, play some Jenga, maybe make a sign. Velkommen hjem, Nancy! Who's with me?

I love this quote sfm. Andy goes from total uncertainty about the trip in the first place to being their team leader, trying to keep everyone's spirits up. Andy/Nancy is like a secondary ship to me but I do love them—and I imagine that in the past three years Andy has been trying so hard to move on, and maybe he would have succeeded if Shane hadn't been so dead-set on going to NY. Like, Shane being so honest and matter-of-fact about wanting to see her again sort of gave Andy permission to do the same, and now the floodgates are open and he's reminded of how much he misses her. (Also, that 'the woman we love' kills me. Because they do all love Nancy, in their own individual fucked-up ways, and often they hate her, but they can't stop caring and that's why they're here.)

But then even Shane has doubts, and that anxiety sets in, and Andy is the last one standing. And they go through her room, because it's been three years and so much could have changed and they want to know if she's still the same person. And Shane wrote Nancy letters, and Nancy kept them. ♥ (Also, when Shane discovers the letters and says "Wow," Andy says "What? Vibrator? Makeshift vibrator carved out of soap?", like, WAY TO BE APPROPRIATE ANDY, you are talking about Shane's Mom who he once masturbated over, MAYBE DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT. I love him.)



And god, when they do finally see each other again for the first time, and it's just—the circumstances are so not what they expected, if they even expected anything. Nancy is stoned, and Shane and Andy just watched a video which has like, increased their anxiety tenfold. Like, now they're wondering if Nancy has changed completely, and how should they treat her, and they're just totally on edge. And Nancy's the total opposite, all "Gimme a hug! You're so tall! Look at your hair! So soft!" Which is how she might have been anyway, but it's like the inhibitions are lowered, you know? Shane's expressions absolutely kill me here, too, like—Alexander Gould's acting is so good, just with his face, he suddenly seems to de-age and turn into her little boy again and he keeps looking to Andy for reassurance even though all of this was his idea in the first place.



***



7x03: Game-Played




Okay, their first proper conversation, the way Nancy sort of dances in, half-guilty, secretly uncomfortable, trying to make it all lighthearted and okay. But Silas's absence is like the elephant in the room. And then Andy mentions "the Lars thing, probably something that uh, we should have a family discussion about at some point, lifetime of deceit and so forth." And Shane's face, when he says that—Andy is all casual vitriol for a second but Shane looks straight at Nancy like he's sorry for her, like he's on her side. It's always been a bit of a joke to him, because he secretly wants Silas to be the "blonde sheep" so he can feel closer to the family, but everyone else is hurting and his instinct is still to protect Nancy.

And oh boy, when Nancy asks about Copenhagen and the first thing Shane says is that he has/had a girlfriend? Like he's trying to prove something to her? It comes across so...I don't know, almost like he's trying to make her jealous, like he wants her to think that he coped just fine without her, he got a girlfriend, and what does she think about that? And then Andy wants to make sure Nancy has the whole picture, like yeah Shane had a girlfriend but she was thirty four and divorced and "baby crazy" with a "whole sister thing", like—she was a Nancy replacement, essentially, and Nancy should probably know that, but he laughs and, like her, tries to keep it casual. Like "hahaha isn't it funny that both of your sons have now been in relationships with much older mother-figures!"

And then even when Nancy tries to back out a little bit because she doesn't want to deal with looking after them all anymore, she can't quite commit to it, not when Shane says he's planning to work, because she wants him to go to college and she still cares, she still has to be the Mom. AND THEN THE AWKWARD HUGS AND THE WAY THEY BOTH GAZE AFTER HER AS SHE LEAVES. It's weird, but in terms of how they all feel about her, Shane and Andy are the most similar. Silas's feelings are all mixed up with more resentment because of a) the whole Lars thing, b) the fact that he was older when things started getting fucked up (unlike Shane), and c) less of a sexual/romantic element. But Shane and Andy—they're both basically in love with her. Basically.



And I love that Silas and Nancy's first meeting was unplanned. Him walking in, surprised to see her but trying to play it cool, and her caught totally off guard.

Silas: What's inside the radio? You wouldn't hide it if it was just a radio, I know you. And I know my pants.
Nancy: You look good. Older. More like—
Silas: More like my father?
Nancy: More like my father, I was gonna say.
Silas: Hm. I'd like the jeans back now, they were expensive.
Nancy: Uhh. Okay. Let me wash them first.

I love, love, love whoever is writing their dialogue this season, it is SPOT ON. Throughout EVERYTHING, there is this undercurrent with Silas where he's constantly needing to have the upperhand, trying to undermine her in any way he can. And it comes across so petty sometimes, but he also knows exactly where to hit her so that it really really hurts. He says "I know you," like he's telling her she can't hide from him, even though he's the one who's hiding. And he brings up Lars as soon as he can. And hnng, can we talk about Nancy wearing his jeans? Because yeah, she needed clothes, because those outfits from the halfway house were ridic, but she could've worn Andy's or even Shane's pants, and she chose Silas's. Because she hadn't seen him yet and she didn't know when she would and she wanted something of his, something that smelled like him maybe. I mean, clothes-sharing is such a thing for me. And then the fact that she had sex in them? I can't even.

And so then Silas continues to bitch at her. He answers her phone just to mess with her. He's sarcastic. "I can't wait to meet your new friends." He asks her why she fled, tells her not to lie. She says—honestly, presumably—that she wasn't ready, lets herself be vulnerable, and he keeps it coming, sneers at her: "Please, Nancy Botwin was born ready."

Then he threatens that he'll sell the weed. Reminds her he was 'born and raised' for the job, a subtle jab at her, a reminder than he's been brought up to deal drugs and isn't that awful and what kind of a mother was she to him? And then, damn—she tries to plead with him, silently begging him to cut her some slack: "Silas..." And all she gets is a sarcastic "Nancy," him using her first name, refusing even to call her his mother anymore.

And then when she gives in to what he wants, he looks a little bit smug at having won her over, but he realises quickly that it doesn't make anything much better. It doesn't fix things. It's a momentary triumph, but being a dick to her doesn't make him love her any less. When she answers her phone and immediately starts lying, something in his face changes. But even so, he knows she's going to be late, and he gives her money for a cab. It's a favour, he still loves her, he still wants to do this for her. But maybe it's something else as well, maybe it's another way to undermine her. He's the one giving her money, helping her out. He's being the parent, almost. He's showing her his power, maybe. For a split-second you can see him smile as he hands her the cash, but then he shuts the door on her so fast, not wanting to see the look in her eyes as she stares back at him.


MORE OF THIS TO COME, IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED. Probably even if no one is interested, mannn I love this show, I don't even care.

Date: 2011-08-03 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] corleones.livejournal.com
I love your Weeds thoughts! So many of them are my thoughts also. God, this show is so good this season and I'm so with you on the Silas and Nancy dynamic.

(Psst, just friended you because well, I love your fic and we have a ton of fandoms in common. Hi?)

Date: 2011-08-03 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Omg hi. I've just friended you back. :D

I'm so glad that my thoughts are shared, haha. Thank you for commenting on this! And man, WHAT EVEN IS THE SILAS AND NANCY DYNAMIC? It's suddenly become so different and interesting.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-08-03 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
OH YAY IT'S YOU. :D I remember us talking about last season, I was hoping you'd comment! I AM SURE THERE AREN'T MANY PEOPLE WILLING TO DISCUSS SOME OF THIS WITH ME.

Bags: Lol, I think the Nancy replacement was my very first thought on seeing Renata, just because of her age. And Silas and the whole Lisa thing. (Was that even her name? Cheese shop woman.) I just LOVE that they did that, and they're not making it into a big thing - it just makes so much sense that he'd get himself an older girlfriend right after losing Nancy.

YESSS Andy and Shane discussing Nancy together. Their relationship has had a sexual element since Shane was pretty young. (Also that scene at the end of the latest episode where they're like, in a gay bar, surrounded by dildos and sex swings? COME ON, SHOW.) But yeah, I feel like if Shane was going to talk to ANYONE about Nancy, it'd be Andy. And Andy can sympathise. I just want fic where they're in the flat together one night, drinking, and Silas and Doug are out somewhere, and gradually talk turns to Nancy. And maybe it's the first time they've really talked about her since leaving, or maybe this is like a regular thing - they get drunk and talk about her and then pretend it never happened in the morning. I can imagine it becoming a sexual thing too, like trying to get over Nancy together - like you said for Silas/Shane, which obviously I can ALSO imagine. Definitely.

From Trauma: Shane, you are an adorable little killer - lolol YES. And I was surprised about Silas being the first to see her, too! At first I wasn't sure that I liked that, because I prefer her relationship with Shane (although it's pretty much equal now) and he was so desperate to see her, but it ended up working. And yesss, symbolic barrier!

And omg, when I said the "secondary ship" thing, I was like "Wait. What's my primary ship?" and yeah, I realised it was basically some fucked up Nancy/Silas/Shane thing too. GREAT MINDS. Andy can be thrown in there too though. I think I just ship Botwins/Botwins. Doug can gtfo. (I don't actively hate him, he just bores me and I never really found him funny. Same with Celia.)

Game-Played: Yeah! There were a few things I picked up on when I rewatched season 6, like little hints leading up to it. I really want to do a rewatch of the earlier seasons soon. I wonder how long they'd been planning that for.

MORE BOTWIN FAMILY BONDING. I would like that too. I love the individual interactions, but last season there was so much of the four of them together and I do miss that. I'd love for there to be more dicussion of Silas and Shane's weirdness with Nancy, like Andy talking about it, but at the same time it's nice that it's more of a subtle undercurrent. Also, talking about it would probably be AWKWARD.

And she had sex in them. Don't ever change, Nancy, I love you. RIGHT?? Nancy is just one of those characters that I love, but I cannot explain WHY I love her.

Omg, I've already planned out a post for the next three episodes, don't worry. ♥ It's probably gonna end up even longer than this one actually, because so many awesome things happened. ALSO ALSO I may have written a short little Silas/Nancy fic...in which they actually have sex. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT CAME FROM, I DID NOT PLAN IT. It's just like an angry!sex thing inspired by all their bitching at each other I guess? I DO NOT EVEN KNOW, BUT LOOK OUT FOR THAT SOON IF YOU ARE SO INCLINED.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-08-07 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
SPEAKING OF ANDY/SHANE, I totally forgot about that time Shane watched Andy having sex. WITH NANCY'S SISTER. TWICE. What even is their relationship? And one of those times, he was taking pictures on his phone.

I will post Silas/Nancy angry!sex ASAP, I got held up for a bit there because of family stuff but it is imminent!

Date: 2011-08-03 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] umbrrrayla.livejournal.com
Ooh, yay! I'm so glad you did a Weeds post because I've been dying to bring it up with you, but I haven't talked to you for ages so I thought it might be a little weird for me to suddenly message you about a show, lol! Do you mind if you PM you? Cos, like you, I'm shy about the cesty stuff too. Ok, I'm gonna PM now.

Date: 2011-08-08 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katakokk.livejournal.com
Weeds thoughts! I'm so glad you have them :) I mostly watch this show for the pretty (guh, Hunter Parrish), but I really like how your posts because of the so much more intelligent perspective on the episodes :)

Date: 2011-08-08 09:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Yay! I'm glad you enjoy them! XD I have to admit, when I actually watch the episodes for the first time I'm just like *HEARTEYES* "SO PRETTY. SO AWESOME." and not really processing it. But afterwards I start thinking about what everything ~means~ and it's all so interesting.

Date: 2011-08-08 09:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expastic.livejournal.com
i really really really need to start watching this show again, fffff

Date: 2011-08-08 09:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
BEKAH

YES YOU DO

IMMEDIATELY

Where did you leave off?

Date: 2011-08-08 05:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expastic.livejournal.com
UMMMMM, I think I left off right after Nancy had Esteban's baby?

Date: 2011-08-08 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Omg that is so weird, that's right around where I stopped! I had been marathoning it until then, and I took a break and wasn't that bothered about continuing, and then season 6 started and it sounded awesome so I decided to catch up. AND IT WAS THE BEST DECISION EVER.

TRUST ME.

Date: 2011-08-08 06:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] expastic.livejournal.com
Heeee, we are brain twins, as usual. (BTW, HAVE I MENTIONED LATELY THAT I MISS YOU?)

uuuuh, let's see... Season 5 is on netflix, so I'll watch that today. I'll have to see if I can find season 6 somewhere and catch up with you bb so we can squee together. <33333333

Date: 2011-08-09 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
WE ARE INDEED. AND I MISS YOU TOO, BB. ♥

Yaaaay! I can find you download links for season 6 if you need them.

Date: 2011-08-10 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prunesquallormd.livejournal.com
I've still not had a chance to read your most recent posts! Fail, self :(

I'm really intrigued by this though, so I'll definitely be back soon!

Also, I've just seen the first couple of episodes of Criminal Minds, and I'm really liking it so far. I do love me a good police procedural, and the combination of Gideon, Hotch and Reid is fabulous!
Thank you for the rec :)
I hope you're well <3
Edited Date: 2011-08-10 09:49 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-08-12 10:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
Lol, well they are basically all about Weeds, so if you don't watch it you won't have any idea what I'm talking about! You should watch it though. God, I'm sorry, I'm in that stage of obsession where I just want to grab everyone and shake them and yell at them to watch this show, because it's the best ever.

But you've started watching Criminal Minds, so that's good!! :D I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. It takes a little while to get into it, or it did for me at least, but season 2 is really amazing. You're welcome!

I'm doing okay! My Grandparents just left yesterday so I'm just readjusting to normal life, haha. Hope you're good too.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-10-30 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likecharity.livejournal.com
I KNOOOOOOOOW RIGHT, THE THIRD EPISODE WAS JUST...ALMOST TOO MUCH.

SO. MANY. FEELINGS.

Ugh I still need to make my post on the last four episodes because the finale TORE ME APART in Silas/Nancy terms - the way they just made up in such a simple and lovely way like they knew all along that they couldn't fight forever, auugh.

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