"I can't ever get too sad, because no matter what, I have you."

[hardparade]

Hoooooooomg, fucking Boardwalk Empire, man. I don't even know if anyone on my flist watches it but I think I need a moment to get these feelings out.


A show where Michael Pitt's character has sex with his Mom, you guys. So unbelievably relevant to my interests I don't even know what to do with myself. Ughhh. I was always interested in their dynamic right from the moment Gillian was introduced and was clambering all over Jimmy half-naked and everyone was like "Ohhh shit! He's cheating on his wife!" and then it turned out she was his mother and we all felt super-awkward. And then I wasn't even sure if I was going to watch the second season but there was more incestuous weirdness in the first episode so I was like fine, show, you win. But I didn't really think they would go there. THANK YOU, BOARDWALK EMPIRE, FOR GOING THERE.

I don't even know why it's so good, but it IS. I love the way it's been built up so gradually and carefully. And it's so interesting because Gillian is clearly very fucked up, and she was so YOUNG when she had Jimmy, and her relationship with men is so horrible and complicated but then there's her son, loving her so completely and looking after her, and it just makes sense. And I know that the sex shouldn't be like, excused, but I love how that night was set up to show us that she doesn't really know how to be, and their behaviour is much more like that of lovers than anything. Because then it just worked.

GOD that scene where they get back to Jimmy's room, it's so perfect, because you can just FEEL the tension, and there's still like these mother/son sort of gestures like her offering to clean up his shirt, but then when he starts helping her undress there's just this shift and it's like you know something is going to happen. Like, incest aside, I loooove that kind of thing—those moments leading up to a kiss that shouldn't really happen, when both people sort of know that it might, and they're secretly wanting but neither of them want to be the one to initiate it. There were a few little moments where it could have happened and I kept expecting it, and the way it took longer was even better because it felt so real. I guess that's why I appreciate it so much, because I imagine it's difficult to do mother/son incest realistically, and yet Boardwalk Empire seems to have managed it perfectly.

I am really, really sad that Angela had to die for all of this to come together, though. I mean, I assume that Jimmy is going to still be a mess for a while and that's probably going to lead to something further happening between the two of them because he'll be too weak to resist, and in order for that to make complete sense to us we had to understand the full extent of what happened between them in the past. And it sucks because I love this storyline like a mad thing, but I was also really fond of Angela, and the idea of killing her off just so we can focus on Jimmy's pain does rub me the wrong way. Plus, now there's barely a handful of regular actresses on this show and there are too many men to count, and that's just not on, Boardwalk. :|

But yeah, aside from that, YAY? I mean, I develop a mother/son incest kink and then the universe gives me Michael Pitt in this scenario. And it's such a well-developed storyline too, with such wonderfully complex backstory and emotion and just auuuuugh thank you Boardwalk. ♥

Omg, I didn't even mention all the craziness at the end. This episode was so intense. I could ramble on about it for much, much longer, but I'm still not sure anyone I know watches this show, so instead I'll just show you some caps and then shut up. (It was so lovely visually as well; the lighting and the train and how it panned back to show everything gently rattling. Guh.)




In conclusion, Jimmy/Gillian should probably not be my OTP on this show, but it so is.

I'm gonna go back to working on that Remus/Sirius mix now, even though it keeps making me like, burst into tears at spontaneous moments.

Comments

[umbrrrayla.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen it yet but keeping meaning to give it a try - and lol at Michael Pitt being in it. That is seriously all for you!

I'm on a bit of Remus/Sirius kick myself - I always felt they had a specific chemistry in the books (despite the general insistence there seems to be that there are no subtexts to ANY of the relationships in the books whatsoever ie. "there's no room in the world for personal, individual interpretations of writing unless the author is dead and can't answer back." ), especially after I saw the way Gary and David played them in the movie of POA (blatantly homoerotic, am I right?), but I never particularly thought much about them as a pair while first reading the books because I always considered them to be very separate as adults as opposed to their closeness when they were kids. But lately, well, I've been searching out things like this: http://asylums.insanejournal.com/daily_deviant/357846.html#cutid1

Guh... hnnng.

[umbrrrayla.livejournal.com]

Whoops, forgot to specify - second picture down on the page that link brings you to.

[likecharity.livejournal.com]

You should give it a try! I only started watching because of Michael Pitt, but it's kept my interest even though I actually don't care about quite a lot of the storylines. I kept watching for the few characters that I do like, and then obviously when things started to get particularly weird between these two I was like "well, I obviously need to see where they're going with THIS."

I was the same! Oh god, I'm gonna try not to babble at you because I'm in serious Harry Potter mode lately and haven't had a chance to talk to anyone about it really, apart from my cousin who isn't the shipping type. But yeah, when I first read the books I didn't even care about the Marauders so I definitely didn't see it. I don't know what changed that, but after I read The Shoebox Project (omg have you read The Shoebox Project?) and then reread the books, it was like...INSTANT OTP. And, yeah, the movie interpretation helped too, what with it being so blatantly homoerotic and all.

You're right - they did seem much more separate in the books, at least earlier on. I'm finding it weird how Remus is barely mentioned in GoF (at least where I'm up to so far). But then during OotP it's much more obvious, from what I can remember. There's the good old 39-line stare (http://likecharity.tumblr.com/post/4492012299/robin-sparkles), for one thing. *sigh*

And hnnnnnng that picture. And yay, a fic I haven't read yet! The problem with getting back into Harry Potter now is that tons of the old fic has just vanished from the internet. The amount of deleted journals and 404 errors I've come across trying to track down old favourites. :(

[umbrrrayla.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I might give it a try, although I'm keeping up with about eight shows right now which is ridiculous.

Yeah, I don't think I cared that much about the Marauders either, first time. I mean, I loved Remus, and I loved Sirius, and I liked the idea of the adventurous group of boys, but 1. we already had adventurous friends in Harry, Hermione and Ron 2. the Marauders were pretty much dicks and 3. they were incredibly significant in parts (Sirius... the veil... ALL the cryes) and then totally absent for long periods, so I didn't get too involved in them. Plus, I didn't read the books as a shipper of anyone, though I did always assume Harry and Hermione belonged together but would never be (except for DH, where I was like... oh my god... ARE they? But I didn't properly ship them until about a year after DH), so I was never searching for subtext in any of the relationships, even H/Hr, because, well, I just didn't think relationships would happen fullstop (until Ginny started being really quite nasty and a bitch to everyone except Harry, cos he could do no wrong even when HE was being a little bitch to everyone, because that's how women show their love for a man, apparently - tell them they're perfect and right when they're not - except he was never a bitch to her, of course, because she never told him what he didn't want to hear, because that's ALSO apparently what love is - and that's why people think she's an empowered feisty female? Wut?). Anyway, real romance/love didn't seem to be part of the books except for silly first kisses and stuff. It was just straightforward friendships, old loves and plot. But looking back, there's SO much subtext, alot of which JKR either didn't intend or regrets and lies about. I don't want to start a stan riot (honestly, the HP fandom - which I only discovered the online version of a few years ago - scares the absolute crap out of me, which is why despite my uber-fanship, I never really joined it) but I do think JKR does a lot of fibbing or else convincing herself she meant things to be a certain way and then saying so in interviews. Because LOOK at that quote you just linked.

You could argue that it's one of those things that people who want a ship to exist manipulate to mean what they want it to mean, and that JKR wasn't aware of how long 39 lines would be in the reader's head, but
1. Personally, when I first saw that quote pointed out, I wasn't a shipper of R/S, so there was no bias
2. The 'at last' confirms she knew full well how long the look was.
3. Yeah, a serious (*titter*) conversation was taking place, but for Lupin to be looking at Sirius that intensely means there are other issues he's aware the conversation will bring up for Sirius, and also, one of the first things said was for James to be referred to as Sirius' best friend, which seems to be around the time he starts looking at Sirius, so Remus really seems to be reacting to something there.

I hadn't heard of The Shoebox Project until you mentioned it on your blog somewhere, and I was tempted to look at it because I've been passingly interested in the ship the last year but have deliberately avoided it because I seriously don't need another heartwrenching ship - Harry and Hermione have already destroyed me. But, of course, what did I do? Started reading TSP and I'm only at the beginning of Part 2 where nothing has even really happened yet, and my heart is already cracking. Sigh.

Feel free to email me about HP and babble all you like - I have no one to discuss it with, and even though I don't read much fic anymore, and I still haven't started GoF properly yet (I'm rereading them too! Yay!), HP is still relevant to pretty much every one of my waking hours, so go ahead!

[prunesquallormd.livejournal.com]

There'll shall be proper comment later but not now cos I have hurty head and I need to go to bed :(
This is just to say I love your love of incest <3 . It makes me feel like I have company XD


Also yay Remus/Sirius <3
Love them forever :)

[likecharity.livejournal.com]

Haha, yay! ♥ I was going through the Boardwalk tag on Tumblr and I was surprised that there were quite a few people being like "I kind of ship this, is that okay??" I mean, most of it was "AUUUGH I NEED BRAIN BLEACH WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" but it was kind of nice to see that some other people were into it too. Company is always nice. :)

:D I should be posting the fanmix soon, if I manage to stop crying long enough to do so. XD

Edit: Oh, oh, and I'm sorry your head hurts! :( I hope by the time you read this it feels better. ♥

[likecharity.livejournal.com]

RIGHT? I mean, to be fair, I'm interested partly because of the mother/son thing rather than in spite of it, but I really do appreciate the lengths they've gone to in order to build it up and explain it. It definitely makes it much more intriguing, and...well, easier to ship. XD

Well, I approve of them!! ♥

[prunesquallormd.livejournal.com]

GOD that scene where they get back to Jimmy's room, it's so perfect, because you can just FEEL the tension, and there's still like these mother/son sort of gestures like her offering to clean up his shirt, but then when he starts helping her undress there's just this shift and it's like you know something is going to happen. Like, incest aside, I loooove that kind of thing—those moments leading up to a kiss that shouldn't really happen, when both people sort of know that it might, and they're secretly wanting but neither of them want to be the one to initiate it.

Um, so i really had no interest in this show at all before now, but guh. I kind of really, really need that in my life.

It sucks kind of hard that there are so few female characters, and killing off one of the good ones also sucks. Still, I'm seriously tempted to give it a look. And those screenshots! Preeeeetty <3

You may or may not know that Remus/Sirius is pretty much my big m/m OTP. I love them sooooo much. I haven't read the books since I realised that though! So I completely missed the 39 line stare! Where is that? I needs to see it nooooow :)

Sirius was my fave male character character in HP. Sooo gutted when he died :(
And Remus D:
I can see why you've been crying a lot!
I see you've posted the mix. I shall definitely look forward to listening to that :)

[likecharity.livejournal.com]

THAT SCENE IS JUST SO...HNNG. You could always start with that episode and see what you think, but it would be very confusing, especially because the sex happens as part of a series of flashbacks. I also really like the way the relationship has been developed over the whole series, with hints from the beginning that there's something not quite right about it. But it is very subtle and Gillian's not in the show much so I'm not sure - you'd have to be interested in another few storylines to make it worth watching the whole show, probably!

I knew you shipped Remus/Sirius but I didn't know how much! I'm glad you love them too. ♥ And ohhhh my god, re-read the books. I'm just going around telling everyone to do that now, haha, but seriously. I'm not sure I'd read them while shipping it either, and it's just giving me SO many feelings. There are so many little moments that seemed so insignificant before, that now just reduce me to a flailing mess.

The 39 line stare happens in Order of the Phoenix - they're all sitting around the table at 12 Grimmauld Place, arguing about how much Harry deserves to know about the Order and what's going on, and for some reason, J.K. Rowling has Remus staring at Sirius and not looking away for THIRTY NINE WHOLE LINES. It's pretty amazing.

I hope you like the mix. ♥ And I hope your head is better?

[prunesquallormd.livejournal.com]

for some reason...

Clearly she ships it, hardcore!
I always thought it's a crying shame that there are no canon same-sex relationships in HP. Yeah, Rowling confirmed Dumbledore as gay, afterwards, but I do think she missed a trick there. Harry Potter is in large part about acceptance and loyalty and respect for who and what people are, so, yeah, it would have been nice you know?

So I'm going to go ahead and believe that JK shipped Remus/Sirius like burning!

My head's much better thankyou<3
I'm so tired recently though. I don't what that's about. Winter, I guess :/

Shall write more soon, but it's bedtime for me :)

I hope you're well :)

♥

[thatyourefuse.livejournal.com]

... So. This is awkward. But I clicked through here looking for a fanmix I sort of vaguely remembered seeing ages and ages ago, and then I scrolled down and hit this, and -- kind of -- ajkdgfhgalj? Because -- Darmodys. And it has been a bit of an uphill struggle finding people who can stand to hear about them at all, let alone ship it, so -- yes. Hi?

[likecharity.livejournal.com]

HI, OMG. I've found it quite a challenge finding other people who ship it, too. HIGH FIVE. I am still kind of not over that evil, evil finale, but I still ship this like a mad thing and why, why did they have to end it when it was just getting interesting?? (Also, just out of curiosity, if you don't mind me asking, what was the fanmix you were looking for and did you find it in the end?)

[thatyourefuse.livejournal.com]

\o

Yes, the finale made me sad inna face. (Although I watched the whole thing in about four days after said finale aired, so I can only imagine what it was like not to be braced for it.) BUT I KNOOOOOOW. It is such a marvelous vortex of need and codependence and trauma and tragedy and god dammit, I'd gone 23 and a half years without acquiring an intergenerational incest OTP, OH WELL.

(I did not, and I'm starting to believe I hallucinated it. I swear I once downloaded a Susan/Peter mix that isn't any of the ones over on fanmix, and the cover art on yours looked familiar enough that I clicked over to see if it was, by any chance, here.)