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hardparade
Happy birthday
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alexi_lupin!!Title: coming unglued (or, five facts about zac and taylor's relationship)
Author: likecharity
Pairing: Zac Hanson/Taylor Hanson
Rating: PG
Warnings: Real person slash, incest.
Summary: See title -- five facts about Zac and Taylor's relationship.
A/N: For
alexi_lupin. Happy birthday bb. ♥ Consider this your incredibly delayed personal canon meme results. ;)1.
Isaac knows.
It's not the kind of knowing that he could ever back up with proof and facts, if asked. It's the kind of knowing that lies deep and dormant in the back of his mind, jerking to the forefront every now and then when he witnesses something that can't be given any other explanation.
He doesn't talk about it. He barely even lets himself think about it. He knows he should if he suspects so strongly, but there's a fear in him that makes him hesitate whenever the opportunity arises. It's awful, he knows, to let something like this continue right under his nose, to never say a word. But he's scared that saying it out loud will make it all so much more real, and he's scared that they might deny it, and that maybe it's all in his mind and he's a lot more fucked-up than he thought.
Sometimes he watches Taylor and Natalie together, watches them putting Ezra to bed or cooking a meal for a family dinner party. And when he sees Taylor dipping his fingers into the pasta sauce and Natalie telling him off through her giggling, he can almost convince himself that it's not there, it's not true. It can't be true. And then Taylor slips into a seat beside Zac and they share the kind of smile that they've never wasted on him, and he knows. He knows.
2.
Natalie and Kate don't know.
Zac doesn't think they ever will. It's a matter of caution and consideration, it's all about saying the right things and closing the right doors. They never slip up. Even in the beginning, he doesn't think they ever have. (If they had, he supposes, there wouldn't have been weddings to speak of.)
He's the more careless of the two of them, he's got to admit, but he's not stupid, he knows how serious this is. There's nothing more serious in his entire life.
He was flicking through some magazine of Kate's the other night, and found a two-page quiz called something inane like How to Tell if Your Man's Been Stepping Out. Firstly, he was of course reassured to see that she hadn't filled it out, but it was even a relief to simply read through the questions and answers. None of it could have applied to him and Taylor. Nobody suspects that kind of thing. It's not like late night phone calls or coming home with lipstick smeared on your collar. It's not suspicious new techniques in the bedroom, or becoming suddenly 'distant or cold, unresponsive'.
He and Taylor don't sneak out to restaurants, don't arrange secret romantic getaways. There is nothing for her to find in his texts on his phone or his emails on his computer. He doesn't keep a diary.
Before anything else, they cover their tracks.
3.
Georgia is about them. Irrevocably, excruciatingly, entirely about them.
It didn't feel deceitful at first, the cover-ups and the gloss-overs. But now Zac hates it, hates the story Taylor tells and the credit he takes. I wrote it for Natalie, he always says with a shy, reluctant smile, and Zac always clenches his fists in his pockets and tries not to listen.
Somehow in the end it doesn't matter, though. Nobody else will ever know the truth, it's just for them, that memory of being curled up together on a hotel sofa, Taylor strumming his guitar absentmindedly, chords and riffs coming together to make what fans would later know as track four on The Walk. The lyrics came later, a joint effort, and Zac knows that despite his own honesty, Taylor was already thinking of explanations and excuses.
The original words (and even the rhythm) became jumbled along the way and it still bothers him, but he can't argue when Taylor nuzzles his neck, lips hot at his throat and murmurs softly that it's the meaning that matters, nothing else.
4.
They don't ever talk about their beginning, but they both remember it.
It started a long long time ago. Taylor has a vague and fuzzy memory of himself, age ten, kissing Zac, age seven, on the porch of somebody else's house (a friend's, maybe). It was summer, he thinks, because he remembers being hot and sticky and without a shirt, and he can bring back a distant image of Zac squinting at him in the sun, all shiny lips and mudstained clothing.
He doesn't even know if that really happened or if it's been inexplicably invented by his brain. He doesn't want to ask Zac to try and find out.
What he's sure of is a long period in his early teenage years when that sort of thing continued. He knows he knew it was wrong at the time, but all they seemed to worry about was keeping it a secret, making sure they could continue without discovery. He remembers it being harmless and all in good fun, and he thinks he must have had himself convinced pretty thoroughly.
He put a stop to it at age fifteen, said something like "We can't do this anymore," and Zac just agreed mildly, and for a little while, things were almost normal.
5.
It began again a few years ago.
It had been building up for as long as he can remember. It was inevitable, unstoppable.
It was a drunken kiss in a bathroom backstage at a show, almost accidental, reaching over each other for faucets and soap. It was a relief more than anything, a glorious release of years' worth of stifling tension, and for a moment, he forgot why it shouldn't have been happening. And then it came back to him like a punch in the stomach and he was pushing Zac away, only to have him press back in and whisper first (with a wild look in his eyes) "Don't," and then, softening, "The damage's already done, Tay."
And there was nothing, nothing for him to argue back with.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-18 01:10 am (UTC)YAY I LOVED THIS. ESPECIALLY HOW ISAAC KNOWS AND YOU COMPLETELY NAILED HIS WHOLE "ASK-DON'T ASK - OMG WHAT IF THEY'RE NOT?" MINDSET AND I LOVED IT.
YESSSSSS GEORGIA YAY!!!!! IT SO IS. IT SO IS.
YESSS I LOVE SHOW-RELATED SEXUAL TENSION! HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS?
SO OMG. ILOVEYOU. ♥♥♥
*FLAILS*
ALSO I GOT AN IPOD FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND THE FIRST THING I WATCHED/LISTENED TO WAS THE VIDEO OF HYRISE LOL. IPOD'S NAME IS CASPER, BECAUSE I NAME EVERYTHING. MY OLD IPOD MINI WAS CALLED ALESSANDRO. ALSO JUST NOW I PUT A BUNCH OF PICS ON SO YAY NARNIA CAST WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO. =D ALSO SEXY HANSON BOYS HEHEHE. NOW EVERYONE ELSE CAN SEE THEY'RE SEXY TOO. AND I'M GOING TO HYRISE MY FRIENDS, YES INDEED.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-18 12:22 pm (UTC)THE ISAAC THING JUST CAME TO ME, IDK. THAT'S HOW I SEE HIM DEALING WITH IT. OR NOT DEALING WITH IT. OR WHATEVER. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HE'D KNOW, IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM NOT TO PICK UP ON STUFF. BUT HE JUST WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO PROPERLY ADDRESS IT OR DO ANYTHING AND LIKE...IT'D KILL HIM.
IT IS!! IT CAN'T NOT BE. IT JUST ISSSS.
BECAUSE I AM MAGIC. :D :D
I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS OMG. I WAS SO NERVOUS BECAUSE I HADN'T WRITTEN THEM BEFORE AND I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM, HAHAHA.
YAY IPOD! AND LOLOL HYRISE. I NAME EVERYTHING TOO. MY IPOD IS CALLED PADDY. I HAVE NARNIA CAST PHOTOS ON MINE TOO, LOL. :D
no subject
Date: 2008-08-18 01:03 pm (UTC)I KNOW, THEY ALL SPEND SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER THAT HE COULDN'T POSSIBLY NOT NOTICE SOMETHING.
YOU ARE MAGIC INDEED.
AWWWW.
MY CAMERA'S NAME IS JAMIE, AFTER JAMES MCAVOY LOL /DORKERY
HEY DID YOU READ THAT FIC WHERE SKANDAR DRESSES UP IN A SKIRT AND STOCKINGS AND MAKEUP FOR WILL? OH NO I FORGET WHO IT'S BY BUT I'M SURE I CAN FIND IT IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT. BECAUSE OMG, HOT.
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Date: 2008-08-18 01:08 pm (UTC)OMG YES, I DID. IT WAS BY
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Date: 2008-08-18 01:25 pm (UTC)I BET IT WAS, OMG.
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Date: 2008-08-20 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 10:56 pm (UTC)The Sims is an allegory for life, man. It's DEEP. XD
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Date: 2008-08-18 01:09 pm (UTC)THERE NEEDS TO BE ARTS OF IT, OMG.
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Date: 2008-08-18 01:16 pm (UTC)IF THERE WERE ARTS OF IT I WOULD PROBABLY DIE. THE MENTAL IMAGES WERE ENOUGH TO MAKE ME NEED SEVERAL COLD SHOWERS.
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Date: 2008-08-18 01:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-18 12:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-18 11:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-18 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 09:19 pm (UTC)I liked their music when I was younger, and then was really amazed when I found out they'd grown up and were still writing and performing and everything. I was wondering about RPS and then it turned out the girl I wrote this for,
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Date: 2008-08-20 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 09:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-19 11:23 pm (UTC)<3333333333
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Date: 2008-08-20 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 02:46 pm (UTC)I have now spent hours watching interviews with Hanson on youtube watching for Zac and Taylor looking at each other and it is all your fault ;)
I downloaded Georgia and my god it fits! You are a genius! And it is such a lovely song! I've been listening to it on a loop for ages Lol. Can you recommend any other good Hanson songs? All I'd heard was Mmmbop (of course) and Penny And Me and I am now completely hooked (and shameless).
no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 09:24 pm (UTC)Georgia is one of my favourite songs of theirs, definitely, it's so beautiful. And I SWEAR IT'S ABOUT THEM, OMG. I mean, not really, but I like to pretend -- the lines about not having to choose, and everything, fit so well.
If you want a good Zac/Taylor Youtube video I would recommend this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF5BH7a2k6Y) if you didn't find it already, because it is FANTASTIC and kind of hilarious. I would LOVE to know what is going on with them there.
As for songs, Penny And Me and Georgia are probably my favourites, but I also love: Go, Tearing It Down, Strong Enough To Break, Underneath, Hey, and Lost Without Each Other. :) Let me know what you think! Omg my Hanson obsession was so intense, I couldn't stop listening to them for weeks when I first got into them. XD
no subject
Date: 2008-08-20 10:54 pm (UTC)<33333333!!!!!!11111one!
Date: 2008-10-02 06:28 am (UTC)WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
also: *LOVES YOU*
asjfdljkskfd;;dalg;'fdlpf'ak
Re: <33333333!!!!!!11111one!
Date: 2008-10-02 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-28 03:49 am (UTC)I loved Hanson when I was a kid, way back before I got into slash and whatnot, so I never thought I'd ever read a Hanson fic. Now that I have, I wish I had so much more to read. This is the only thing I could find on delicious, and you have no idea how amazed I was that it was/is so fucking good. I was ready to just read anything to see if I could, ya know?
Wow, just wow. Definitely saved to my own delicious now.
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Date: 2009-08-23 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-22 09:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 10:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-22 10:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-25 11:47 am (UTC)