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hardparadeSo this was either gonna be celebration or consolation. Consolation it is! *sigh*
Basically, this came about because Celebrity Big Brother was like, the Jedward softcore porn show. WITH ADDED KINK. Like the twincest wasn't enough, they were throwing us clingfilm bondage and crossdressing and ageplay and BDSM-y things and what is anybody even supposed to do with this. Besides write fic. GOD DAMMIT.
(Not to mention: sharing a bath, sharing a bed (well, a tower of mattresses, and top-to-tail, but still!), John writing his name on Edward's wrist, helping each other shave, checking each other out, and uh, this. JFC.)
Title: five times jedward nearly got off together in the big brother house
Author: likecharity
Pairing: John Grimes/Edward Grimes
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Real person slash. Twincest, crossdressing, bondage. Uh...things that are on the show already, essentially.
Summary: See title?
A/N: FML.
one.
The thing is, they're trapped in a house with a whole bunch of other people and a whole bunch of cameras, and privacy basically doesn't exist. Which they obviously knew beforehand, but they didn't really think about exactly what it would mean. Like, not realistically, anyway. Because it was Celebrity Big Brother, which was super cool and exciting, and that kind of took precedence.
It actually didn't occur to them until the night before they went in. They were in bed together, and they'd been fooling around for hours because they couldn't sleep from all the anticipation, and then John stopped suddenly and said "Hang on. We're not gonna be able to do this for like...ages." Edward whispered back, "Obviously," and John added "That sucks," and Edward agreed, and then they went back to what they were doing, and didn't really think about it again.
They were both pretty sure they could handle it, anyway. It's never really felt like a necessity, it's just something that they do, something that they've done for a really long time, and it's just kind of a habit at this point. Sort of like brushing your teeth. Or like wanking, for normal people. They've never really had to go without it for any extended period of time.
They didn't even bother when they went on The X Factor, even though they had to share bedrooms with people back then and there were often cameras around. They just adapted to the different circumstances and learned to be a little more careful. After all, they've always had to be quiet and secretive about this. It's second nature; they've never slipped up.
Big Brother, however, is different. There's literally nowhere in the house or garden that can't be seen by a camera, and they have to wear microphones all the time so they can't even talk privately, and at first they're too caught up in all the excitement to care but before long it's starting to get really annoying.
They actually only last until Day 2. By then, Edward is already going slightly crazy with frustration. Maybe it'd be okay if the two of them could complain about it to each other, but of course they can't. And he can see in John's eyes that he feels the exact same way, which somehow makes it even worse. They've gone longer than this, he's sure, but they've never made a conscious effort to do so, and with the stress of the house and the new situation, it'd be really nice to snuggle up together in bed and just mess around, lazily. It's a comfort thing, sometimes, when everything gets to be too much. Edward misses being able to nuzzle into John's shoulder while John reaches down to wrap his fingers around Edward's cock, misses the smell of John's skin and the way his breathing sounds up close. The way it hitches when Edward grips a little tighter, twists his wrist.
They're only on Day 2. He has no idea how they're going to survive.
So that's when he comes up with Operation Bubble Bath. This entails filling the bath with as many bubbles as they possibly can in the hopes of obscuring anything that might happen under the surface. This plan is, of course, not discussed at any point, and only named in Edward's head, but as soon as he suggests a bath John immediately picks up on his wavelength and empties out an entire bottle of washing up liquid without needing any prompting. And it kind of seems like it might work, because no one seems to bat an eye at the idea of the twins sharing a bath, and the layer of bubbles is so thick that they're sure nothing can be seen.
They've bathed together before, of course—they did it all the time when they were little and they just never really grew out of it. It's one of those things their parents frown upon, but any efforts they made to put a stop to it proved futile and the twins were eventually allowed to continue. It saves time and water, they'd always say, and before long Mum and Dad stopped trying to argue. It's one of Edward's favourite things, he thinks, because it reminds him of being a kid, and the warmth of the water and John's body right there with him is just so lovely and comforting. Safe. Of course they have to wear their swim trunks on national television, but other than that it feels pretty much the same.
But when it comes to doing anything further, they chicken out, suddenly hyperaware of the cameras and the millions of eyes behind them. For a long time they just sort of sit there, hunched in the tub and staring at each other. And then John attempts to reposition himself, and accidentally brushes something that he seems to think is Edward's foot but definitely isn't. Edward has been half-hard since they got in the bath, and the brief contact of John's hand against his growing erection is just—well, basically they need to do something right now or they're going to explode in a cloud of bubbles and sexual frustration.
He tries to lie back and take a few deep breaths. John is looking at him sort of curiously, and then Edward feels something brush between his legs again. John's foot, this time.
There's an idea.
Edward tilts his hips experimentally, pushing into the arch of John's foot, and John smiles at him. Edward stretches out one of his own legs, trying to pretend that nothing is going on as the water splashes gently around them. He finds John's dick easily, feels the stiffness of it under the water, but as soon as he catches his brother's eye he immediately has to look away, gazing out the window, his breath caught in his throat. John kind of curls his foot and clumsily tries to stroke him, and Edward blurts out something about what Darryn's doing in the garden, and for a moment it seems like this might actually work and then—
"Oh, sorry babes," says Amy obliviously, breezing in and heading towards a mirror with a tube of mascara in her hand. "Didn't know you two was in here."
So far Edward thinks Amy is really cool, but right now he sort of wants to hit her.
two.
The idea of wrapping each other in clingfilm was genuinely just meant to be something kind of silly and fun. They were bored, and they wondered what it would be like, which is basically the reasoning behind ninety-nine per cent of the things they do. But Edward isn't prepared for the fact that being all bound up and helpless kind of does something to him. He should've known, considering the mummy task wasn't so long ago and he knows he found that more fun than he probably should have.
First of all, John's wrapping the clingfilm around him and smoothing it down, stroking Edward's chest and stomach and back, which is already almost too much for Edward to take, feeling John's hands on him after what feels like so long. And Edward can't really move, his arms pinned to his sides and held there by layers and layers of the stuff, and it goes right down to his knees, limiting the movement of his legs as well. As John wraps it around and around, Edward starts to get more and more nervous, sweaty in the heat of it and claustrophobic, but it's good. Exciting. An adrenaline rush, maybe.
He kinda freaks and complains a bit, but obviously John is gonna push him over, or where would the fun be?—and then once Edward is lying there helplessly on the floor, staring up at John, he realises John gets it too. He's turned on seeing him like this, having this power over him. John pushes him around, rolls him over, and all Edward can do is comply. He stares up at him, silently daring him to do more. It feels like John could do anything to him right now, and he has to remind himself that's not true.
There are so many things they can't do.
It's like this one time when Mum made them change their own bed sheets and Edward was messing around and not doing it properly, and he lay on John's bed and refused to move. John decided to just make the bed around him, and Edward ended up pinned to the mattress with the sheet fitted over him, only his head left free. It was supposed to be kind of a punishment for making John do all the work, but when John saw that Edward still wasn't bothering to move, he got frustrated, leaping onto the bed and straddling Edward with his arms crossed. And Edward got excited, because he was trapped, he could hardly move at all and here was John, sitting on him, looking down at him like he could do anything.
Edward said "John, kiss me," words coming out in a rush, and John did, all his irritation melting away. Edward squirmed with a strange sort of happiness. It was weird to kiss John without being able to touch him, but it was kind of nice too. He ended up sucking John off right there, bound by the sheet and held down by his brother's body, unable to use anything but his mouth. When John's cock slipped out from between his lips, he had to wait for John to put it back in again, and when John came it spilled out onto Edward's cheek and he couldn't wipe it away. It felt good. Really good.
Edward squirms, feeling himself starting to get hard. Luckily he's lying on his front so nobody can see, but it hurts, the pressure of so many layers of fabric and plastic and then the floor pressing against him as well. John is kind of kicking at him, and he twists helplessly, splayed out on the floor, his legs askew and in the air. He wonders if John remembers the time with the sheets.
Suddenly John bends over and starts hitting him, slapping at his back and his arse, the clingfilm amplifying the sound. Edward lets out a cry that sounds more like a moan, and John steps back abruptly. Their eyes meet for a second and it's clear that John is thinking exactly what Edward is thinking. He immediately retreats, and Edward lies there motionless for a while, thinking of as many boring and/or gross things as he can until he finally goes soft.
It's only Day 11. Clearly, they're going to have to be more careful when coming up with random fun activities in the future.
three.
It's been nearly two weeks, and they've spent all morning giving each other temporary tattoos with Amy's eyeliner, which is another thing that usually wouldn't cause any kind of problems. Usually, they're able to touch each other's arms without going into some kind of frenzy of arousal, but the withdrawal is doing strange things to them. They're sitting so close together and Edward's got his quiff in a stupid little ponytail that just makes John want to pull on it. Feeling Edward's thumbs pressing into the soft skin of his forearm, watching the pink tip of Edward's tongue stick out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrates on drawing—it's enough to drive John crazy.
He paints his own name on the underside of Edward's wrist, on the delicate thin skin there where he can see the faint veins underneath. It's kind of a hidden place, which feels good, like another secret only the two of them share. Briefly, he considers whether or not communicating like this would work, writing things like holy crap I need to fuck you up the length of Edward's arm—but yeah, no. Probably best not to.
They're called to the Diary Room after and John actually hesitates before sitting down in the chair, because the seat isn't really built for two people and he's not sure he can stand being pressed up against his brother right now. Edward seems less affected today, starting in at Big Brother about their tattoos and outfits, and John manages to relax a little, joining in, just keeping his hips angled a little bit away from Edward's. And then Edward says something about rebellion and mattresses and John kind of flips out internally, and then their eyes meet which is definitely a mistake, because John knows that he may as well have I WANT YOU SO BAD RIGHT NOW written across his forehead in eyeliner. Edward sees it clear as day.
Panicking slightly, John slaps Edward in the face. He's not entirely sure why he does this, except that he needs Edward to stop looking at him like that or else he'll have no choice but to grab him and kiss him right in front of Big Brother. And then before he's fully aware of what's happening, Edward is shoving him off the chair and dragging him around, throwing him down on the floor and spanking him, and it's all right in front of the cameras and it's nowhere near good enough, but it's something. There's a temporary relief in the physicality of it.
John uses Edward's thigh to help lift himself off the floor and settle beside his brother on the chair again, and Edward won't stop touching him. Their fingers interlink almost automatically. John grips as tight as he can and Edward squirms and makes this noise, somewhere between a squeak and a whimper, and John almost can't take it, trying desperately not to look at at him, convinced it's going to be completely obvious what they really want to be doing—
"Is everything all right, Jedward?" If it were possible for Big Brother to sound bemused, it definitely would.
"Yeah," John says in a small voice.
"Yes," Edward adds, sounding somewhat more relaxed, despite the fact that John still has him in a death-grip, fingernails digging into his wrist.
"Everything's okay, Big Brother, we're fine," lies John, and he's forcing Edward's arm round, at an awkward angle, and it's like Edward realises what he's doing before he does, turning it, exposing the little inked JOHN on the underside of his wrist. John looks down at it, stares for a second, greedily, at his own name written on Edward's skin. Edward is his. Edward is showing him that, he realises, telling him it's okay. I'm yours, see? We'll get through this.
John rambles for a moment longer about lack of energy and then Edward's writhing beside him again, saying "Take your hands off me," and oh god, John really doesn't want to, but he recognises that tone in Edward's voice. It's that tone that says you already made me come three times tonight, please can we sleep now? or go a little slower, it hurts, and so he eases off a little.
Edward immediately take over, grabbing John's hands and clutching at them, grinning at him mischievously. And John can't help but laugh, even as he's sort of groaning internally with the frustration, and then Edward slaps him, like he's saying ready for round 2? Which kind of gives John the perfect opportunity to grab at Edward's silly little ponytail like he wanted, dragging him around by it like Edward's his little dog on a leash or something. Edward kind of whines a little and bends himself over the chair almost instinctively and John's palms go sweaty at that, his mouth goes dry. He wants to fuck him so bad.
Edward tries to stand up and doubles over, half-laughing and half-moaning, complaining about the pain in his scalp, and John can't help it, he folds himself over his brother and they fit together easy, Edward's arse pressed right up against John's crotch like that. They usually have sex face-to-face because they like to watch each other, but Edward likes the way it feels from behind and John thinks of that now, the few times he's had the view of Edward's sleek, pale back and been able to grab a hold of his hair. The way Edward would push back against him, like he was fucking himself on John's cock.
Edward has gone totally still, and John clutches at his brother's bicep, mumbling something nonsensical, a half-apology. Edward gets him back by kicking him off the chair once he's managed to contain himself.
"Let's just get out of here," John says, from a crumpled ball on the floor, convinced that all of this is the Diary Room's fault.
four.
It's Day 16, and—possibly against their better judgement—they're letting Amy Childs vajazzle them.
If she does a good job she might get a reward from Big Brother, so everyone lies back and surrenders themselves to her—her wax and her diamonds and her apparent professionalism. Edward agrees a little too readily and John doesn't know how to feel as he watches them, because Amy's touching him in places only John gets to touch. John has a little mental freak-out every time it happens, like she's going to see something she shouldn't, or severely wound him, or something. So he hovers around anxiously, even when he becomes aware that he's bugging her. He watches as Amy smoothes the wax strips along Edward's pale skin and tears them off and Edward cries out and throws back his head, going pink in the cheeks.
"No one else's got as close to me, John, have they?" Edward asks, a little hazy from the pain, and maybe John's not thinking straight because it sounds like he's saying you're the only other one who's touched me here, John, and John feels so possessive.
"I can't see your willy, don't worry," Amy assures Edward blithely, continuing with her work.
It's around this point that John actually starts to interfere. He can't help himself. Amy sticks the wax strip to Edward's skin, just along the crease at the inside of his thigh, and John leans over, smoothes it down like he's just trying to help. His other hand rests over Edward's, where Edward is clutching his crotch to shield himself from view. Amy brushes John's arm like she's batting him out of the way, and then Edward takes his hand, interlinks their fingers, gentle but firm as he moves John's hand aside.
None of them speak. Amy decides to pretend nothing happened and John forces himself to sit back, watching almost jealously until Edward is done. A little pattern of diamonds peeks out from the seam of his pants, glittering in the sunlight, and John is taken aback by how good it looks, trying to stop himself from staring. He wants to peel the fabric out of the way to get a better look, but he knows that will look too weird. When they're both done, Edward has a similar reaction, and they take to standing in front of mirrors for the rest of the day in an attempt to make it look like they're only admiring themselves and not each other.
They share a bed that night—more a tower of mattresses, to be exact—and decide it's probably best if they sleep top-to-tail. The microphone that hangs down over the bed is within easy reach, now, and Edward messes with it half-heartedly but finds it can't be turned off. Even if they whisper as quietly as they possibly can, their voices will be picked up.
Around 2 in the morning, John wakes up to find that Edward's leg is between his own thighs, knee pressed gently to crotch. It seems innocent, like their bodies have just ended up tangled together, as they so often do when they sleep. But feeling the heat of Edward's skin right there wakes John right up in an instant. "Ed'ard," he mumbles, peering at his brother in the dark. He sees Edward's eyes open, slowly, and then he gets a sleepy smile in response. John shifts, trying to draw Edward's attention to the problem, and Edward echoes the movement, his knee rubbing gently against John's quickly-stiffening cock.
"Ed'ard," John whispers more urgently, straining his neck to look down the bed and check that the duvet is covering them. It is. Edward has closed his eyes again, pretending to be asleep, and John bites his lip and does the same as Edward's knee continues to rock back and forth between his legs. John fumbles under the covers, hand finding Edward's hip and slipping lower. Maybe they're too tired, not thinking straight. Maybe sharing a bed was a bad idea. But they can't help it—it's habit, it seems so easy.
Just then the door swings open, squeaking loudly, and John's eyes fly open. Lucien and Amy come toppling in, drunk and clinging onto one another, and Edward quickly brings his leg back just as John's hand snaps back up under his pillow. His breathing sounds so loud to his own ears, and he tries desperately not to move, dick aching for further contact.
Lucien and Amy take a flying leap into the bed right next to them, and John watches through one half-open eye as the two of them snuggle close together under the covers. He can't tell for certain, but he's pretty sure they're kissing. Which is basically the most unfair thing in the world. He doesn't dare move to try and look at Edward, so he just grips an angry handful of pillow, shuts his eyes tight, and tries to get back to sleep, ignoring the soft sounds of giggling coming from the bed beside them.
five.
It's weird, because John doesn't even particularly like girls, at least not more than anything else. He just likes Edward. But for some reason, seeing Edward all dressed up as one—he almost can't cope with it. And the state the two of them have been in lately, it just makes things even worse to see Edward sitting there in his shiny wig and his stuffed crop-top. He actually acts more like a girl, and half the time it's not even like he's just doing it for laughs. It's like being dressed like that just changes his behaviour without him even realising, and for some reason John finds it unspeakably hot.
It takes him a little while to realise. At first he's just kind of curious and fascinated, and he can't stop looking at Edward (can't, like it takes so much effort to drag his eyes away). The others pick up on it, but Kerry just says it must be weird for him, seeing what he'd look like as a girl, and he goes along with that, says a flustered, yeah, so weird! and then goes back to staring. But really, he's wondering what it would be like if Edward really were a girl, if he had real tits instead of balled-up fabric shoved under his top, if he got wet between his legs and maybe John could fuck him like that, with a handful of that long brown hair in his fist and his lips mouthing at full breasts and his cock deep inside a hot, slick pussy.
God. He's never wanted that before.
Big Brother asks them all to face each other and do their best girl/boy-band poses, and it's weird, but John has never felt so masculine. He and Edward have never really been bothered about typical boy stuff, and their Mum always goes on about how pretty they are. No one ever uses words like rugged or handsome when describing them. But right now, in his fingerless leather gloves and his sleeveless jacket, watching Edward act like such a girl—he feels like he's a man, and Edward isn't. And he wants Edward to feel like that too, wants to make him whimper and moan and clutch at John's muscles.
It doesn't help that Edward is clearly enjoying the whole thing way too much for his own good, always messing with his fake boobs and twirling strands of his wig around his fingers. Tossing back his hair and licking his lips like he's flirting with John. Later, he lets Amy put make-up on him, and he keeps wearing his wig and his crop-top for much longer than necessary. It makes John wonder. Maybe if Edward likes it so much, he'll try it out again when they get back home. Maybe John can convince him to hide the wig and keep it, and maybe they could get a hold of some more girly clothes. Fuck, it turns him on so much to think about it, Edward in a miniskirt and some frilly knickers that John could push out of the way in order to fuck him, and Edward's voice would be all high-pitched and desperate as he begged for it harder and faster.
John swallows and takes a deep breath and forces himself to look away from Edward. If he keeps thinking about this, he's gonna get hard, and it's not like there'll be anything he can do about it.
Obviously, the two of them are in this for the long haul, hoping to be the winners, but right now he wishes they could just sabotage themselves and get out of here as soon as possible. He has so many plans for when they finally get a camera-free bedroom to themselves.
**
They've developed a way of talking about it without really talking about it, saying things that sound completely normal on the surface, things only they understand the true meaning of. It's like when they were little and they made up a language all of their own. (They actually attempt to communicate in that, from what they remember, but they only manage a few scattered words that don't really make sense, because they made it up when they were six and they didn't know any dirty words. And anyway, then Big Brother tells them off, because apparently the House has a ban on secret languages.)
"There's only a few days left," John says, and Edward knows that the underlying meaning of the sentence is we can manage a few more days, right?
"Yeah." Edward stirs his cereal listlessly. "Yeah."
"And then we can go home," John says, and he's peering at Edward over his mug now, a look in his eyes that says and do everything we've been wanting.
Edward can't help but smile at that. "Yeah."
"What's going on?" Amy asks, wandering through.
They can't quite hear Bobby's response, but it sounds like he says, "I dunno, but they're plotting something. I can tell."
The twins' eyes meet, and Edward grins. John's eyes are practically sparkling. Bobby doesn't know how right he is.
End.
oh god, now I kind of want to write a fic in which they put all these kinks into practice upon leaving the house
Basically, this came about because Celebrity Big Brother was like, the Jedward softcore porn show. WITH ADDED KINK. Like the twincest wasn't enough, they were throwing us clingfilm bondage and crossdressing and ageplay and BDSM-y things and what is anybody even supposed to do with this. Besides write fic. GOD DAMMIT.
(Not to mention: sharing a bath, sharing a bed (well, a tower of mattresses, and top-to-tail, but still!), John writing his name on Edward's wrist, helping each other shave, checking each other out, and uh, this. JFC.)
Title: five times jedward nearly got off together in the big brother house
Author: likecharity
Pairing: John Grimes/Edward Grimes
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Real person slash. Twincest, crossdressing, bondage. Uh...things that are on the show already, essentially.
Summary: See title?
A/N: FML.
one.
The thing is, they're trapped in a house with a whole bunch of other people and a whole bunch of cameras, and privacy basically doesn't exist. Which they obviously knew beforehand, but they didn't really think about exactly what it would mean. Like, not realistically, anyway. Because it was Celebrity Big Brother, which was super cool and exciting, and that kind of took precedence.
It actually didn't occur to them until the night before they went in. They were in bed together, and they'd been fooling around for hours because they couldn't sleep from all the anticipation, and then John stopped suddenly and said "Hang on. We're not gonna be able to do this for like...ages." Edward whispered back, "Obviously," and John added "That sucks," and Edward agreed, and then they went back to what they were doing, and didn't really think about it again.
They were both pretty sure they could handle it, anyway. It's never really felt like a necessity, it's just something that they do, something that they've done for a really long time, and it's just kind of a habit at this point. Sort of like brushing your teeth. Or like wanking, for normal people. They've never really had to go without it for any extended period of time.
They didn't even bother when they went on The X Factor, even though they had to share bedrooms with people back then and there were often cameras around. They just adapted to the different circumstances and learned to be a little more careful. After all, they've always had to be quiet and secretive about this. It's second nature; they've never slipped up.
Big Brother, however, is different. There's literally nowhere in the house or garden that can't be seen by a camera, and they have to wear microphones all the time so they can't even talk privately, and at first they're too caught up in all the excitement to care but before long it's starting to get really annoying.
They actually only last until Day 2. By then, Edward is already going slightly crazy with frustration. Maybe it'd be okay if the two of them could complain about it to each other, but of course they can't. And he can see in John's eyes that he feels the exact same way, which somehow makes it even worse. They've gone longer than this, he's sure, but they've never made a conscious effort to do so, and with the stress of the house and the new situation, it'd be really nice to snuggle up together in bed and just mess around, lazily. It's a comfort thing, sometimes, when everything gets to be too much. Edward misses being able to nuzzle into John's shoulder while John reaches down to wrap his fingers around Edward's cock, misses the smell of John's skin and the way his breathing sounds up close. The way it hitches when Edward grips a little tighter, twists his wrist.
They're only on Day 2. He has no idea how they're going to survive.
So that's when he comes up with Operation Bubble Bath. This entails filling the bath with as many bubbles as they possibly can in the hopes of obscuring anything that might happen under the surface. This plan is, of course, not discussed at any point, and only named in Edward's head, but as soon as he suggests a bath John immediately picks up on his wavelength and empties out an entire bottle of washing up liquid without needing any prompting. And it kind of seems like it might work, because no one seems to bat an eye at the idea of the twins sharing a bath, and the layer of bubbles is so thick that they're sure nothing can be seen.
They've bathed together before, of course—they did it all the time when they were little and they just never really grew out of it. It's one of those things their parents frown upon, but any efforts they made to put a stop to it proved futile and the twins were eventually allowed to continue. It saves time and water, they'd always say, and before long Mum and Dad stopped trying to argue. It's one of Edward's favourite things, he thinks, because it reminds him of being a kid, and the warmth of the water and John's body right there with him is just so lovely and comforting. Safe. Of course they have to wear their swim trunks on national television, but other than that it feels pretty much the same.
But when it comes to doing anything further, they chicken out, suddenly hyperaware of the cameras and the millions of eyes behind them. For a long time they just sort of sit there, hunched in the tub and staring at each other. And then John attempts to reposition himself, and accidentally brushes something that he seems to think is Edward's foot but definitely isn't. Edward has been half-hard since they got in the bath, and the brief contact of John's hand against his growing erection is just—well, basically they need to do something right now or they're going to explode in a cloud of bubbles and sexual frustration.
He tries to lie back and take a few deep breaths. John is looking at him sort of curiously, and then Edward feels something brush between his legs again. John's foot, this time.
There's an idea.
Edward tilts his hips experimentally, pushing into the arch of John's foot, and John smiles at him. Edward stretches out one of his own legs, trying to pretend that nothing is going on as the water splashes gently around them. He finds John's dick easily, feels the stiffness of it under the water, but as soon as he catches his brother's eye he immediately has to look away, gazing out the window, his breath caught in his throat. John kind of curls his foot and clumsily tries to stroke him, and Edward blurts out something about what Darryn's doing in the garden, and for a moment it seems like this might actually work and then—
"Oh, sorry babes," says Amy obliviously, breezing in and heading towards a mirror with a tube of mascara in her hand. "Didn't know you two was in here."
So far Edward thinks Amy is really cool, but right now he sort of wants to hit her.
two.
The idea of wrapping each other in clingfilm was genuinely just meant to be something kind of silly and fun. They were bored, and they wondered what it would be like, which is basically the reasoning behind ninety-nine per cent of the things they do. But Edward isn't prepared for the fact that being all bound up and helpless kind of does something to him. He should've known, considering the mummy task wasn't so long ago and he knows he found that more fun than he probably should have.
First of all, John's wrapping the clingfilm around him and smoothing it down, stroking Edward's chest and stomach and back, which is already almost too much for Edward to take, feeling John's hands on him after what feels like so long. And Edward can't really move, his arms pinned to his sides and held there by layers and layers of the stuff, and it goes right down to his knees, limiting the movement of his legs as well. As John wraps it around and around, Edward starts to get more and more nervous, sweaty in the heat of it and claustrophobic, but it's good. Exciting. An adrenaline rush, maybe.
He kinda freaks and complains a bit, but obviously John is gonna push him over, or where would the fun be?—and then once Edward is lying there helplessly on the floor, staring up at John, he realises John gets it too. He's turned on seeing him like this, having this power over him. John pushes him around, rolls him over, and all Edward can do is comply. He stares up at him, silently daring him to do more. It feels like John could do anything to him right now, and he has to remind himself that's not true.
There are so many things they can't do.
It's like this one time when Mum made them change their own bed sheets and Edward was messing around and not doing it properly, and he lay on John's bed and refused to move. John decided to just make the bed around him, and Edward ended up pinned to the mattress with the sheet fitted over him, only his head left free. It was supposed to be kind of a punishment for making John do all the work, but when John saw that Edward still wasn't bothering to move, he got frustrated, leaping onto the bed and straddling Edward with his arms crossed. And Edward got excited, because he was trapped, he could hardly move at all and here was John, sitting on him, looking down at him like he could do anything.
Edward said "John, kiss me," words coming out in a rush, and John did, all his irritation melting away. Edward squirmed with a strange sort of happiness. It was weird to kiss John without being able to touch him, but it was kind of nice too. He ended up sucking John off right there, bound by the sheet and held down by his brother's body, unable to use anything but his mouth. When John's cock slipped out from between his lips, he had to wait for John to put it back in again, and when John came it spilled out onto Edward's cheek and he couldn't wipe it away. It felt good. Really good.
Edward squirms, feeling himself starting to get hard. Luckily he's lying on his front so nobody can see, but it hurts, the pressure of so many layers of fabric and plastic and then the floor pressing against him as well. John is kind of kicking at him, and he twists helplessly, splayed out on the floor, his legs askew and in the air. He wonders if John remembers the time with the sheets.
Suddenly John bends over and starts hitting him, slapping at his back and his arse, the clingfilm amplifying the sound. Edward lets out a cry that sounds more like a moan, and John steps back abruptly. Their eyes meet for a second and it's clear that John is thinking exactly what Edward is thinking. He immediately retreats, and Edward lies there motionless for a while, thinking of as many boring and/or gross things as he can until he finally goes soft.
It's only Day 11. Clearly, they're going to have to be more careful when coming up with random fun activities in the future.
three.
It's been nearly two weeks, and they've spent all morning giving each other temporary tattoos with Amy's eyeliner, which is another thing that usually wouldn't cause any kind of problems. Usually, they're able to touch each other's arms without going into some kind of frenzy of arousal, but the withdrawal is doing strange things to them. They're sitting so close together and Edward's got his quiff in a stupid little ponytail that just makes John want to pull on it. Feeling Edward's thumbs pressing into the soft skin of his forearm, watching the pink tip of Edward's tongue stick out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrates on drawing—it's enough to drive John crazy.
He paints his own name on the underside of Edward's wrist, on the delicate thin skin there where he can see the faint veins underneath. It's kind of a hidden place, which feels good, like another secret only the two of them share. Briefly, he considers whether or not communicating like this would work, writing things like holy crap I need to fuck you up the length of Edward's arm—but yeah, no. Probably best not to.
They're called to the Diary Room after and John actually hesitates before sitting down in the chair, because the seat isn't really built for two people and he's not sure he can stand being pressed up against his brother right now. Edward seems less affected today, starting in at Big Brother about their tattoos and outfits, and John manages to relax a little, joining in, just keeping his hips angled a little bit away from Edward's. And then Edward says something about rebellion and mattresses and John kind of flips out internally, and then their eyes meet which is definitely a mistake, because John knows that he may as well have I WANT YOU SO BAD RIGHT NOW written across his forehead in eyeliner. Edward sees it clear as day.
Panicking slightly, John slaps Edward in the face. He's not entirely sure why he does this, except that he needs Edward to stop looking at him like that or else he'll have no choice but to grab him and kiss him right in front of Big Brother. And then before he's fully aware of what's happening, Edward is shoving him off the chair and dragging him around, throwing him down on the floor and spanking him, and it's all right in front of the cameras and it's nowhere near good enough, but it's something. There's a temporary relief in the physicality of it.
John uses Edward's thigh to help lift himself off the floor and settle beside his brother on the chair again, and Edward won't stop touching him. Their fingers interlink almost automatically. John grips as tight as he can and Edward squirms and makes this noise, somewhere between a squeak and a whimper, and John almost can't take it, trying desperately not to look at at him, convinced it's going to be completely obvious what they really want to be doing—
"Is everything all right, Jedward?" If it were possible for Big Brother to sound bemused, it definitely would.
"Yeah," John says in a small voice.
"Yes," Edward adds, sounding somewhat more relaxed, despite the fact that John still has him in a death-grip, fingernails digging into his wrist.
"Everything's okay, Big Brother, we're fine," lies John, and he's forcing Edward's arm round, at an awkward angle, and it's like Edward realises what he's doing before he does, turning it, exposing the little inked JOHN on the underside of his wrist. John looks down at it, stares for a second, greedily, at his own name written on Edward's skin. Edward is his. Edward is showing him that, he realises, telling him it's okay. I'm yours, see? We'll get through this.
John rambles for a moment longer about lack of energy and then Edward's writhing beside him again, saying "Take your hands off me," and oh god, John really doesn't want to, but he recognises that tone in Edward's voice. It's that tone that says you already made me come three times tonight, please can we sleep now? or go a little slower, it hurts, and so he eases off a little.
Edward immediately take over, grabbing John's hands and clutching at them, grinning at him mischievously. And John can't help but laugh, even as he's sort of groaning internally with the frustration, and then Edward slaps him, like he's saying ready for round 2? Which kind of gives John the perfect opportunity to grab at Edward's silly little ponytail like he wanted, dragging him around by it like Edward's his little dog on a leash or something. Edward kind of whines a little and bends himself over the chair almost instinctively and John's palms go sweaty at that, his mouth goes dry. He wants to fuck him so bad.
Edward tries to stand up and doubles over, half-laughing and half-moaning, complaining about the pain in his scalp, and John can't help it, he folds himself over his brother and they fit together easy, Edward's arse pressed right up against John's crotch like that. They usually have sex face-to-face because they like to watch each other, but Edward likes the way it feels from behind and John thinks of that now, the few times he's had the view of Edward's sleek, pale back and been able to grab a hold of his hair. The way Edward would push back against him, like he was fucking himself on John's cock.
Edward has gone totally still, and John clutches at his brother's bicep, mumbling something nonsensical, a half-apology. Edward gets him back by kicking him off the chair once he's managed to contain himself.
"Let's just get out of here," John says, from a crumpled ball on the floor, convinced that all of this is the Diary Room's fault.
four.
It's Day 16, and—possibly against their better judgement—they're letting Amy Childs vajazzle them.
If she does a good job she might get a reward from Big Brother, so everyone lies back and surrenders themselves to her—her wax and her diamonds and her apparent professionalism. Edward agrees a little too readily and John doesn't know how to feel as he watches them, because Amy's touching him in places only John gets to touch. John has a little mental freak-out every time it happens, like she's going to see something she shouldn't, or severely wound him, or something. So he hovers around anxiously, even when he becomes aware that he's bugging her. He watches as Amy smoothes the wax strips along Edward's pale skin and tears them off and Edward cries out and throws back his head, going pink in the cheeks.
"No one else's got as close to me, John, have they?" Edward asks, a little hazy from the pain, and maybe John's not thinking straight because it sounds like he's saying you're the only other one who's touched me here, John, and John feels so possessive.
"I can't see your willy, don't worry," Amy assures Edward blithely, continuing with her work.
It's around this point that John actually starts to interfere. He can't help himself. Amy sticks the wax strip to Edward's skin, just along the crease at the inside of his thigh, and John leans over, smoothes it down like he's just trying to help. His other hand rests over Edward's, where Edward is clutching his crotch to shield himself from view. Amy brushes John's arm like she's batting him out of the way, and then Edward takes his hand, interlinks their fingers, gentle but firm as he moves John's hand aside.
None of them speak. Amy decides to pretend nothing happened and John forces himself to sit back, watching almost jealously until Edward is done. A little pattern of diamonds peeks out from the seam of his pants, glittering in the sunlight, and John is taken aback by how good it looks, trying to stop himself from staring. He wants to peel the fabric out of the way to get a better look, but he knows that will look too weird. When they're both done, Edward has a similar reaction, and they take to standing in front of mirrors for the rest of the day in an attempt to make it look like they're only admiring themselves and not each other.
They share a bed that night—more a tower of mattresses, to be exact—and decide it's probably best if they sleep top-to-tail. The microphone that hangs down over the bed is within easy reach, now, and Edward messes with it half-heartedly but finds it can't be turned off. Even if they whisper as quietly as they possibly can, their voices will be picked up.
Around 2 in the morning, John wakes up to find that Edward's leg is between his own thighs, knee pressed gently to crotch. It seems innocent, like their bodies have just ended up tangled together, as they so often do when they sleep. But feeling the heat of Edward's skin right there wakes John right up in an instant. "Ed'ard," he mumbles, peering at his brother in the dark. He sees Edward's eyes open, slowly, and then he gets a sleepy smile in response. John shifts, trying to draw Edward's attention to the problem, and Edward echoes the movement, his knee rubbing gently against John's quickly-stiffening cock.
"Ed'ard," John whispers more urgently, straining his neck to look down the bed and check that the duvet is covering them. It is. Edward has closed his eyes again, pretending to be asleep, and John bites his lip and does the same as Edward's knee continues to rock back and forth between his legs. John fumbles under the covers, hand finding Edward's hip and slipping lower. Maybe they're too tired, not thinking straight. Maybe sharing a bed was a bad idea. But they can't help it—it's habit, it seems so easy.
Just then the door swings open, squeaking loudly, and John's eyes fly open. Lucien and Amy come toppling in, drunk and clinging onto one another, and Edward quickly brings his leg back just as John's hand snaps back up under his pillow. His breathing sounds so loud to his own ears, and he tries desperately not to move, dick aching for further contact.
Lucien and Amy take a flying leap into the bed right next to them, and John watches through one half-open eye as the two of them snuggle close together under the covers. He can't tell for certain, but he's pretty sure they're kissing. Which is basically the most unfair thing in the world. He doesn't dare move to try and look at Edward, so he just grips an angry handful of pillow, shuts his eyes tight, and tries to get back to sleep, ignoring the soft sounds of giggling coming from the bed beside them.
five.
It's weird, because John doesn't even particularly like girls, at least not more than anything else. He just likes Edward. But for some reason, seeing Edward all dressed up as one—he almost can't cope with it. And the state the two of them have been in lately, it just makes things even worse to see Edward sitting there in his shiny wig and his stuffed crop-top. He actually acts more like a girl, and half the time it's not even like he's just doing it for laughs. It's like being dressed like that just changes his behaviour without him even realising, and for some reason John finds it unspeakably hot.
It takes him a little while to realise. At first he's just kind of curious and fascinated, and he can't stop looking at Edward (can't, like it takes so much effort to drag his eyes away). The others pick up on it, but Kerry just says it must be weird for him, seeing what he'd look like as a girl, and he goes along with that, says a flustered, yeah, so weird! and then goes back to staring. But really, he's wondering what it would be like if Edward really were a girl, if he had real tits instead of balled-up fabric shoved under his top, if he got wet between his legs and maybe John could fuck him like that, with a handful of that long brown hair in his fist and his lips mouthing at full breasts and his cock deep inside a hot, slick pussy.
God. He's never wanted that before.
Big Brother asks them all to face each other and do their best girl/boy-band poses, and it's weird, but John has never felt so masculine. He and Edward have never really been bothered about typical boy stuff, and their Mum always goes on about how pretty they are. No one ever uses words like rugged or handsome when describing them. But right now, in his fingerless leather gloves and his sleeveless jacket, watching Edward act like such a girl—he feels like he's a man, and Edward isn't. And he wants Edward to feel like that too, wants to make him whimper and moan and clutch at John's muscles.
It doesn't help that Edward is clearly enjoying the whole thing way too much for his own good, always messing with his fake boobs and twirling strands of his wig around his fingers. Tossing back his hair and licking his lips like he's flirting with John. Later, he lets Amy put make-up on him, and he keeps wearing his wig and his crop-top for much longer than necessary. It makes John wonder. Maybe if Edward likes it so much, he'll try it out again when they get back home. Maybe John can convince him to hide the wig and keep it, and maybe they could get a hold of some more girly clothes. Fuck, it turns him on so much to think about it, Edward in a miniskirt and some frilly knickers that John could push out of the way in order to fuck him, and Edward's voice would be all high-pitched and desperate as he begged for it harder and faster.
John swallows and takes a deep breath and forces himself to look away from Edward. If he keeps thinking about this, he's gonna get hard, and it's not like there'll be anything he can do about it.
Obviously, the two of them are in this for the long haul, hoping to be the winners, but right now he wishes they could just sabotage themselves and get out of here as soon as possible. He has so many plans for when they finally get a camera-free bedroom to themselves.
**
They've developed a way of talking about it without really talking about it, saying things that sound completely normal on the surface, things only they understand the true meaning of. It's like when they were little and they made up a language all of their own. (They actually attempt to communicate in that, from what they remember, but they only manage a few scattered words that don't really make sense, because they made it up when they were six and they didn't know any dirty words. And anyway, then Big Brother tells them off, because apparently the House has a ban on secret languages.)
"There's only a few days left," John says, and Edward knows that the underlying meaning of the sentence is we can manage a few more days, right?
"Yeah." Edward stirs his cereal listlessly. "Yeah."
"And then we can go home," John says, and he's peering at Edward over his mug now, a look in his eyes that says and do everything we've been wanting.
Edward can't help but smile at that. "Yeah."
"What's going on?" Amy asks, wandering through.
They can't quite hear Bobby's response, but it sounds like he says, "I dunno, but they're plotting something. I can tell."
The twins' eyes meet, and Edward grins. John's eyes are practically sparkling. Bobby doesn't know how right he is.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 01:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 10:32 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it. ♥ Thank you!
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Date: 2011-09-09 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 10:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 04:08 am (UTC)BUT ANYWAY. THIS IS AWESOME. I've skimmed through what fic I could find, and none of it felt real, but this does, so much. I can hear them and see all of this happening, and I love the bit of backstory we get, too.
I think part three is my favorite, because watching that bit again...it's like, this is what we were missing the first time around. Everything fits so well and THE WAY THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER WHAT ELSE ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO THINK? And I lol'd so hard at that UST being why John slaps him.
Also the crossdressing. Because they were so weird about that, even for them. IMO Edward's the more feminine of them, but he was just a little too into/good at that for it to be innocent.
THANK YOU FOR THIS, BB. YOU'VE DONE THE INTERNET A GREAT SERVICE, BELIEVE ME.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 10:46 am (UTC)I'm so glad it felt real to you. I haven't found any fic that felt quite right to me either, but it's actually so hard - I'm so used to incest fic being all about the guilt and wrongness, and Jedward just don't have that. Like, at all. Which in some ways is refreshing! But yeah, their voices are difficult, because I had to get this unique balance of naive and kinky.
Part three is my favourite too. XD It was what inspired me to write the fic in the first place, actually, because that entire diary room scene made NO SENSE unless I put some UST behind it. They are so WEIRD throughout that entire thing, I don't even know what to think. ...I just watched it again and SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WITH THAT? WHAT ARE THEY? There is definitely something going on there.
And hnnng YES, Edward was so into the crossdressing. Which I have no complaints about, because it was basically the hottest I've ever found him. But man, he kept wearing the clothes and the wig way after he actually was required to, and then even when it was technically over, he asked Amy to put make-up on him? AND THEN PUT THE WIG BACK ON? He is so going to experiment with that in his spare time, if he hadn't beforehand.
YOU AND THE INTERNET ARE WELCOME. ♥ And thank you for this lovely comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :D
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 10:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 10:50 am (UTC)The innocence alongside the kinkiness is such an interesting thing, I agree. I feel like they're so sort of childlike that at first they just think "that would be fun!!" and it's only afterwards that they realise it's a sexual reaction. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. ♥
And you may be interested to know that FOR SOME REASON I was up half the night writing Jedward/Noel Fielding. On second thought, I'm not sure if this will interest you or horrify you...
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 08:11 pm (UTC)That definitely interests me, and I'm even beyond feeling shocked at myself for things like that. It sounds really interesting. I bet they would exasperate Noel. But maybe in a good way. :)
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Date: 2011-09-09 08:18 pm (UTC)Yay! :D Have you seen the episode of Buzzcocks that they were on? They were on Noel's team and even though everyone spent the entire episode taking the piss out of them (not surprisingly!) it was pretty good. Noel seemed to feel a little more sympathy for them than anyone else did, but I might be projecting. XD
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 09:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 11:48 am (UTC)<3
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Date: 2011-09-09 01:56 pm (UTC)Thank you. :D
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Date: 2011-09-09 11:53 am (UTC)ughhh the cross-dressing. THE CROSS-DRESSING. oh here have my heart. ♥
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Date: 2011-09-09 01:58 pm (UTC)THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE CROSSDRESSING. ALWAYS. EDWARD SHOULD JUST ALWAYS BE IN A WIG AND GIRLY CLOTHES. It's really worrying how easy it is to imagine him dressing up like that for fun and the two of them fooling around with it.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 05:56 pm (UTC)This was so great, I could feeeeeel the sexual frustration.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 09:55 pm (UTC)(Also: AVOID THAT KNOWLEDGE FOR AS LONG AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. THEY WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE OTHERWISE.)
FANTASTIC!
Date: 2011-09-09 06:37 pm (UTC)Cross dressing Edward will forever be amazing & in my filthy head Edward sneaked the wig out of the house and they are doing a little role playing of their own..
Thanks for sharing & I hope you write more!
I added you (I hope that's okay) xx
Re: FANTASTIC!
Date: 2011-09-09 09:57 pm (UTC)Edward TOTALLY sneaked that wig out of the house, oh my god. He probably nicked some of Amy's make-up as well. They're definitely going to get up to some kinky roleplay now that they're out. XD
I'm just about to post a fic I wrote about them and Noel Fielding, which is slightly bizarre, but I hope to write more about the two of them on their own as well. Thanks for adding me, it's totally fine. :)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-10 08:37 am (UTC)All this scenes during BB, I was thinking: What are they doing? It's so kinky!
And what you've written? It feels so real, like you've captured everything, what we've seen and everything what happened really behind.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-10 10:50 am (UTC)SERIOUSLY, so kinky. I can't tell if they're totally aware of that and they just don't care, or if they were doing it because it seemed fun and only realised AFTERWARDS quite how much they enjoyed it.
I'm really glad that this seemed real to you and that you enjoyed it. :)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-10 03:30 pm (UTC)These twins baffle me. On one level, they just annoy the hell out of me and I pretty much ignore their existence. And then on another level, their naivety fascinates me and once in a while, something they say just grabs my attention. It's like they are literally not of this world - it's like they genuinely don't have a clue what's going on around them. And I think it's interesting how pretty much everyone (including the parents of the kids who are their biggest fans) NOTICES the cestiness but doesn't seem that fazed by it, just sort of bemused.
But that's the thing - I almost feel like they're not so much cesty but rather they think of themselves as one person who happens to have two bodies. Not in the usual twin way, where there's this intense connection between them - there IS no 'between' because that suggests two people/things FOR there to be a connection between. With Jedward, it's just like they're literally one person. Like, I saw them on tv once and they were asked about girls (and they clearly aren't into any of that, either girls or boys) and they said "We don't have a girlfriend." We don't have a girlfriend. I think the phrasing of that is pretty interesting.
Anyway, I hate admitting to finding them interesting in any way, but your fic pretty much defined their personalities/characters and what's unique and strange about them, which is why I like your fics, cos character is always the focus. Dear god, you are SUCH an enabler. *tsk*
no subject
Date: 2011-09-10 06:00 pm (UTC)Some of the clips are online, yeah! Lemme find them, um. This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKz1yp1U9iI) is them in the bath together. This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8FZcbBeUwk) is the vajazzling. I gave some links to the crossdressing!Edward videos here (http://likecharity.livejournal.com/208268.html?thread=4466316#t4466316). I can't find the other clips; the diary room one is on Youtube but Channel 5 have blocked it. Gah. I can find you links to download the relevant episodes and tell you the timestamps of the Jedward moments if you really get curious. ;)
I, obviously, completely understand your reluctant fascination. And I agree with your theory about them feeling themselves to be one person, too. Like, with other twins, the incest is more like it would be with any siblings, but with Jedward it's like that idea of it being more like masturbation, you know? It's like John's body is Edward's body and vice versa, like there'd be no reason not to go further with their relationship because they see it in the same way they see touching themselves, or something. Does that make sense?
They definitely barely make an effort to be seen as separate people, and in this day and age that's so rare for twins. It's like their parents never made much effort to encourage them to develop independently of each other. They never slept in different bedrooms or had different friends or hobbies or ANYTHING. And it's obviously not just their parents' influence; it's like they just never WANTED to, because they didn't see the point.
I've heard them say 'we' when they should have been talking about themselves as individuals too. What I find interesting about the girlfriend thing is that while people often seem to assume that they would share a girlfriend, the twins themselves are always like "wtf?" at that notion. But they also don't want to date girls separately. So it's like, ummmm? I mean, they're either totally asexual, or they get all they need from each other. Those are basically the other explanations I can see.
Gah, ramble ramble. I've been thinking about them so much lately and I just find them so FASCINATING. Idk, I want to study them for science or something. But anyway! I'm glad you liked the fic despite obviously being kind of on the fence about them, and it's nice to hear that the character-ness came through because I felt like it was just a bit kink-based and I didn't go into anything else enough. XD
no subject
Date: 2011-09-10 07:52 pm (UTC)it's like that idea of it being more like masturbation, you know? It's like John's body is Edward's body and vice versa, like there'd be no reason not to go further with their relationship because they see it in the same way they see touching themselves, or something. Does that make sense?
Yeah, it makes perfect sense - that's what I meant to say really, is that it's basically masturbation. (Although, ew, kinda, y/n?!)
It's like their parents never made much effort to encourage them to develop independently of each other.
Yeah, but it's like you said - they never wanted to, so they probably wouldn't have. Jedward had a fly on the wall show where I live (not sure if it was shown in England) and the parents seem really normal and actually sort of bemused like everyone else. They're a force unto themselves.
I mean, they're either totally asexual, or they get all they need from each other.
You see, this is why I can't work them out. On the one hand, they don't seem interested in anything sexual/romantic. Like the girlfriend thing - it's not like they act uncomfortable when people mention it, it's more like they're shocked anyone would even suggest it, like as if it's a ludicrous suggestion. And I think they'd be the same if anyone suggested boyfriends. So, that's why they seem possibly asexual. But then there's the cestiness, so that doesn't work. But THEN, there's the fact that they're kind of one person, so is that technically cesty? And if it is, is it even sexual at all? (In which case, it's not incest, really.) Because maybe they do get everything the need from each other and sex doesn't even come into it and they actually are asexual?
I want to study them for science or something.
That's pretty much my entire interest in them - they're brains are definitely unique and I want to analyse them!
no subject
Date: 2011-09-10 08:22 pm (UTC)I actually think the idea of it being like masturbation is kind of awesome - I mean, just like awesomely weird, like almost something I can't comprehend. The idea of being SO comfortable with another person that touching their body is like touching your own?! IT'S SO BIZARRE.
I have seen a show that had their parents on it and they did seem very normal - I just think that if you have twins, it's generally considered a good idea to encourage them to have lives independent of each other. I know we disagree with the notion that being really attached to someone is unhealthy, but it is kind of commonly-held belief, and it's odd to me that their parents didn't work harder to split them up a little. I mean, presumably there are a lot of twins that fight against that, but it's like they either fought against it RIDICULOUSLY hard, or their parents didn't make that effort. I'm not saying they're bad parents or anything, it's just unusual.
Well, I think if they're doing anything with each other, they're not TOTALLY asexual. I mean, even if they see it as masturbation, it's still sexual, right? It might not be cesty in their minds, but it's still incest because they are related, and it's still sexual. Agh, I don't even know. I lean towards the twincest explanation simply because it's what I favour, but I could easily believe that they have zero interest in anything sexual, too. But it's like - if they masturbate, they almost certainly do it in each other's company, because they've always shared bedrooms and probably have never even been APART long enough to have a wank. And it just seems natural that that would lead to further exploration? So it's either that or they don't masturbate at all?
WHY ARE THESE THINGS THAT I ANALYSE? They are an enigma.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-10 09:02 pm (UTC)The idea of being SO comfortable with another person that touching their body is like touching your own?! IT'S SO BIZARRE.
Yeah, maybe it's more bizarre than 'ew'. I guess if I'm doing something with someone else though, I kind of want there be something or some things to discover, if that makes sense. Maybe that's why I can't fathom it.
I know we disagree with the notion that being really attached to someone is unhealthy
Wait, do we? Not that I'm disagreeing that we did say something like that, but I don't remember the conversation. I'm totally in agreement about it being healthy for twins to be split up a little. I worked with children for a long while, and it was def healthier when the twins had time apart and different tasks/clothes/routines for part of the day. So, yeah, that's why I think they did fight against it, because as you say they don't seem like bad parents. They seemed quite sensible really.
Well, I think if they're doing anything with each other, they're not TOTALLY asexual. I mean, even if they see it as masturbation, it's still sexual, right?
Yeah, totally, that's pretty much what I mean really. I mean, I'm not sure they actually do do anything sexual. Maybe not even because they're not interested but because they're just late bloomers? I agree to about the whole having time to explore issue what with sharing rooms etc.
WHY ARE THESE THINGS THAT I ANALYSE?
I KNOW! I will never fit into... er, well, society.
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Date: 2011-09-10 10:00 pm (UTC)Hm, that make sense. I think in a way that it would be really lovely, actually, to be that intensely close to someone, and I think that's part of my whole interest in incest in the first place - the idea of being with someone you've known all your life and someone you're totally comfortable with. I mean that's just me personally, because I find it hard to be at ease around other people, but you're right, it would be strange to not have anything new to gain from it. Then again, I guess it would be like that if you'd been in a relationship with someone for a really long time.
Ha, sorry, I mentioned that without going into it at all - I was just thinking of the times we've talked about The Kills and how attached to each other they are, and how the love they have is often viewed as unhealthy because it's so obsessive and they've cut off other parts of their lives for it. And I remembered you saying that you didn't agree with that view, but maybe I'm remembering wrong?! Anyway, it is a little different with twins. I'm not really sure if it's healthier one way or another. It's kind of like people just assume that's how it should be, simply because that's how the rest of us live. But obviously if they're forced to split up later in life, it would be a lot harder if they haven't gained any experience with that.
I'm not sure they do anything sexual either. Sometimes I'm absolutely convinced, just from these weird little moments with them, but it could be that I'm just seeing something I don't understand and leaping to what's (weirdly) the most logical conclusion. And it's the stuff like having a bath together, or their weird little kinky things they do, because I could see that as simply a childlike, innocent thing just as easily. Sort of like in The Dreamers where it's implied that Theo and Isabelle's relationship might not be sexual at all, but that it's more like they're two little kids who bathe together and sleep together and it doesn't mean anything, it's just that they haven't grown up.
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Date: 2011-09-12 07:07 pm (UTC)You see, that's how I feel too, and it's what I want, but I would still want to feel like there was a tiny part of each of us that belonged to two separate people, because otherwise I'd just be loving myself and I would want to feel the connection to another soul. I know it sounds soppy, but I want to feel like two souls had melded into one soul, rather than one soul being split between two bodies. Which is probably related to the fact that I get embarrassed when I imagine myself being emotionally involved with someone in the same way I cringe when I think of my family being involved like that with anyone. That suggests an unhealthy level of objective detachment from myself doesn't it? Hmm. *shrug* lol
how the love they have is often viewed as unhealthy because it's so obsessive and they've cut off other parts of their lives for it. And I remembered you saying that you didn't agree with that view
Do you mean that I was saying it's unhealthy for them to be that close or that I don't agree with people having the view that it's unhealthy? I do vaguely remember us saying something like that and saying that it doesn't matter if they're in their own world cos who says the 'real' world is any more real or important... I could be remembering wrong.
I could see that as simply a childlike, innocent thing just as easily.
I think that's what I believe about them. I think they're just very very innocent at the moment. It's funny though, in The Dreamers, the first time I saw it, I didn't even consider that it wasn't sexual because it seemed so obvious that they were using Michael as the go between for their acknowledged sexual need for each other without breaking societal rules, but then after a few watches, I felt like it was because they wanted to maintain what actually was an innocent childlike attachment and way of communicating that society and possibly nature was forcing them to end.
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Date: 2011-09-13 01:34 pm (UTC)That you didn't agree with people having the view that it's unhealthy! Not in like a big way, we were just talking about the whole idea of what people think is healthy or unhealthy and whether maybe finding someone you love that passionately is more important.
Yeah, that's what's so interesting about it - you instantly assume it's sexual because they're adults (or teenagers) and so even though YOUNG siblings might do that, it instantly takes on a sexual meaning because they're "too old" to behave that way. Plus the fact that Matthew comes between them the way that he does. I mean, I don't believe it's entirely innocent - in the book their relationship is quite explicitly sexual, and even in the film it's implied that there is a threesome at the end, but the little things like sleeping and bathing together are more childlike than incestuous. Which could easily be how it is for Jedward.
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Date: 2011-09-14 12:23 pm (UTC)Ah, yes, I think I remember that convo now.
Must read the book - keep forgetting to.
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Date: 2011-09-10 05:36 pm (UTC)Pure, absolute perfection!! It really felt so them, which makes it even more amazing! *adds to Memories and will love forever!* ♥
And they kept Amy's bra...you just know Edward's gonna use it! ;D
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Date: 2011-09-10 05:45 pm (UTC)THEY KEPT AMY'S BRA?? BOYS, WHAT ARE YOU. Oh my god.
Also, guh, your icon.
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Date: 2011-09-14 07:46 am (UTC)Glad you're back onboard, with CBB it's kind of impossible to not be, I mean, they surpass all reasonable expectations. Planet Jedward is a strange and beautiful place.
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Date: 2011-09-16 02:07 pm (UTC)Indeed it is.
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Date: 2011-09-17 12:04 pm (UTC)DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTT! XD Lol seriously, I love this so much, it's just perfection. You've got their voices down perfectly and it's just so them.
Your other two fics with Noel Fielding are also so amazing. *flails* I've lost count of how many times I've reread them all. NEED MOARRRRRRRR, haha.
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Date: 2011-09-21 05:40 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked this, anyway, and the Noel fics too! Thank you, so much. ♥
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Date: 2011-09-20 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 05:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 09:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-01 01:55 pm (UTC)Floh posting anon as I can't be arsed with all the password crappolla trying to read the capatcha letters.