i'm not trying to wake you up

POSTING THIS AND GETTING IT ALL OVER WITH, OKAY. What is wrong with me lately? After spending yesterday writing that totally ridiculous threesome, I figured I'd do something more normal and/or useful with myself today. But then this happened.


Title: you can have whatever you like
Author: likecharity
Pairing: John Grimes/Edward Grimes/Noel Fielding
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Real person slash, twincest, age difference, and...double penetration (Edward on the receiving end).
Summary: Porn, porn, 5000 more words of porn. After filming he pretty much figured they would just disappear from his life, but to have them here in his bedroom, actually literally asking for it—what the hell else is he supposed to do? Nobody has that kind of willpower, okay? Nobody.
A/N: I accidentally a whole sequel. :/ This time I would like to blame portraitofafool please. (Follows on from this.)

( 'Oh, Christ,' sighs Noel, rubbing his face as he stands there in the doorway. It's 10am and fucking Jedward are on his doorstep. He should've known they wouldn't understand the concept of a one night stand. )

AND IF ANYONE TRIES TO ENCOURAGE ME TO TURN THIS INTO SOME KIND OF SERIES AND GET RUSSELL BRAND INVOLVED, THEN—THEN I QUIT THE INTERNET. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE I WON'T WRITE IT.

So this was either gonna be celebration or consolation. Consolation it is! *sigh*

Basically, this came about because Celebrity Big Brother was like, the Jedward softcore porn show. WITH ADDED KINK. Like the twincest wasn't enough, they were throwing us clingfilm bondage and crossdressing and ageplay and BDSM-y things and what is anybody even supposed to do with this. Besides write fic. GOD DAMMIT.

(Not to mention: sharing a bath, sharing a bed (well, a tower of mattresses, and top-to-tail, but still!), John writing his name on Edward's wrist, helping each other shave, checking each other out, and uh, this. JFC.)


Title: five times jedward nearly got off together in the big brother house
Author: likecharity
Pairing: John Grimes/Edward Grimes
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Real person slash. Twincest, crossdressing, bondage. Uh...things that are on the show already, essentially.
Summary: See title?
A/N: FML.

( The thing is, they're trapped in a house with a whole bunch of other people and a whole bunch of cameras, and privacy basically doesn't exist. )

oh god, now I kind of want to write a fic in which they put all these kinks into practice upon leaving the house

OKAY. THIS IS IT, YOU GUYS. I'M COMING OUT OF THE JEDWARD CLOSET.

If you're in the UK, you probably know what I'm talking about. And you're probably shaking your head in despair right about now. And I understand that, I do. I hated them at first. I could barely watch their performances due to secondhand embarrassment, and I was so full of RAGE when Lucie got sent home instead of them. (I really only wanted her to stay because she was so ridiculously pretty, but still.)

And then somewhere along the way (irritatingly, it was like the week before they were eliminated) I started to like them. I think I always knew, deep down, that the twin thing would get me eventually.


I'M SORRY, BUT THE UNIVERSE CANNOT PRESENT ME WITH A PAIR OF PRETTY IRISH TWINS WHO POSE FOR PICTURES LIKE THIS, AND EXPECT ME JUST TO IGNORE IT.

Seriously, what is this? Who poses twins like this unless they want to see them making out? And what twins are totally okay with it and don't say to the sleazy photographer, "hey, you know, this is a little bit incestuous"? JOHN AND EDWARD GRIMES, THAT'S WHO. (Also, Harry and Luke Treadaway, because making out on camera is pretty much a hobby for them.)

If you don't know who I'm talking about, by the way, John and Edward are 18 year old twins from Ireland who entered The X Factor this year, despite being unable to sing or dance or...well, do much of anything that The X Factor requires. But somehow they managed to make it like, seven weeks or something. Because they were entertaining, just not in the way they probably intended to be. Also, they're totally in love with each other, and don't really bother to hide it. The whole of the UK refers to them with a SHIP NAME. Which they approve of because (and I quote), "it's kind of cool, like Brangelina."

( Stick with me here. )

SO IN CONCLUSION...I CLEARLY HAVE NO TASTE. And if you'd like to join me in this, I recommend checking out Fuck Yeah Jedward, Jedward Genius, their twitter, and the twincest-friendly john_and_edward. :)